September 26 2016

Revealing God’s Character

god's characterIt has taken me quite some time to begin to understand God’s character. When I grew up, I was not taught the truth about God, or about who Jesus Christ is. I began to believe that God was a distant God, who was mean and judgmental. I also believed that Jesus was not God, but a man. A man that did horrible things to hurt me. I lost trust in God, and wanted nothing to do with a God that would hurt me, abandon me, and leave me to suffer mercilessly. So that is the image of God that was created in my mind, and what I carried with me through my life.

When I first started to read the Bible and learn about Jesus, I was in awe. This man I had spent so much of my life hating was nothing like what I believed. I did not even connect my beliefs about Him to my past abuse, because when abuse is very bad, we put it away into the dark recesses of our minds. So I had no memories of what had happened to me to led me to any conclusions about why I hated God so much.

So here I was, reading the Bible and seeing Jesus in a whole new light. A God of love. A personal God. A God that wanted to have a relationship with me. It all seemed so wonderful and too good to be true. Yet as I grew to know Jesus through spending time with Him, I began to see His love was indeed very real. More real than I could ever imagine. Yet as I continued to read the Bible I began to fear there were aspects of God that were indeed cruel and vengeful.

I am sure I am not the only person who has ever read the Old Testament and wondered how God could seem so cruel and harsh in contrast to the God of love in the New Testament. With my religious upbringing it was hard to not see Him that way. I begin to fear if I was doing good enough or being good enough or pleasing God most of the time. I wanted to make sure I was making Him happy and staying in His good graces. I began to see the Bible more as a book of rules than a story of love and redemption. I became enslaved to the ideas I had, of who God was and how I should act.

It got to the point where I began to judge everyone around me by their behaviors: how they dressed, what they watched, how they acted, etc. And soon no one was a “real Christian” according to the standards I set by what I determined the Bible said. It is so easy to get lost when you are allowing your beliefs to shape and mold you, instead of the hands of God. You see, I was born to be a daughter of the King, but the enemy decided to try very hard to steal that from me.

So I have lived my whole life believing lie after lie, about who I am, and who God is. Not only did I believe God was mean and cruel, but I also believed I was ugly, fat, worthless, stupid and deserved to be punished constantly. All the exact opposite of what God says in His word.

It has only been through healing these false belief systems inside of me that I have been able to start to understand the true nature of God’s character. These false belief systems have been so deeply rooted inside of me, I didn’t even know they were there. It was just natural that I thought all these horrible things about myself and God. And I think that is where a lot of people get hung up. They begin to believe the lies that God is not a loving God, and that they are not worthy of His love.

That is why we need to build ourselves up in His truth. It is a wonderful thing to read them in the Bible, but for some of us, that is simply not enough. For some of us, we have clung too tightly to false beliefs and only God Himself can restore our minds to what He has created us to be. We need to surrender every bit of ourselves to God, until we can be stripped away from all of the lies, all of the shame, doubt, fear, and hate we have hidden inside of ourselves. It is only then can we see who God has created us to be.

Take a moment today to pray through these truths about who God is and just sit and be with Him today. Let Him love and adore you. You are so valuable and loved to God.

 

 God is love 1 John 4:8

God is eternal Revelation 1:8

God never changes Hebrews 13:8

God is righteous Psalm 145:7

God wants every person to come into relationship with Him John 3:16

God is slow to anger, and full of love Exodus 34:6-7

God does not want to punish us or be afraid of Him 1 John 4:18

God made the heavens and the earth Psalm 102:25

God is good, and everything He does is good Psalm 119:68

Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love Romans 8:38-39

You are God’s crown of beauty Isaiah 62:3

God is your healer and your redeemer Psalm 103:2-4

God knows we are sinners, and died for us nonetheless Romans 5:8

God created you and set you apart for Himself Jeremiah 1:5

You are precious to God Isaiah 43:4

God takes pleasure in you Psalm 147:11

God is your helper and provider Psalm 54:4

God gives you power and strength Isaiah 40:29-31

God gives us defense and refuge Isaiah 25:4

We were made for God John 1:3

God is our peace Philippians 4:7

 

 

 

 

September 19 2016

Satanic Ritual Abuse In The Church

ritual abuse churchWhat is satanic ritual abuse? Satanic ritual abuse is when an innocent victim is forced to take part in a satanic ritual. These victims can be any age, race or gender. Usually during the satanic  rituals the victim goes under some sort of physical, emotional or sexual trauma. There are many in this world who would believe that this sort of thing never happens. Then there are others who would believe this only happens in “satanic churches” or other such evil places. All would most definitely assume that it would never happen right in their own neighborhood, by people they know, who are Christian. That is how the devil deceives the masses daily.

A couple of years ago I would have been with the majority in thinking that satanic rituals were not something that happens, and most certainly doesn’t happen to “normal” people or “good upstanding” people. I was in huge denial. Denial can be a very good thing. When our core beliefs are not aligned with the Truths of God, it is hard to know the reality of the world or our lives. So while I loved God and followed Him, there were still hidden parts of me that believed that taking part in satanic rituals made a person evil and the world evil and unsafe. So denial kept me safe until Jesus was able to bring the Truth into my heart. I am not evil, and the world is not evil. That was really hard for me to hear.

After being abused for so long I really believe that church was evil, the world was unsafe, people are evil, God is evil, and that I was evil and tainted beyond hope. I walked around in my daily life with these as core beliefs. So even though consciously I wasn’t really registering these as my truth, when I dug deep and asked myself hard questions, I came to realize that really was how I saw things. So step by step, I had to start to see that Jesus was here to bring me healing from my past and freedom from the occult, and show me that none of my past made me or the world evil.

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32

I know that the devil has really worked hard to portray satanism as evil. So evil in fact, that it needs to just be tucked away and out of sight so we do not have to see it or deal with it. Now, I am not saying that satanism is not evil. What I am saying is that there are many, many people out there who are involved in satanism who are absolutely not evil. Yet because of the choices they are making, we will always see them as the thing they do, and not as the people they are. Satan has worked very hard to get us to identify with our actions, so that the work Jesus did on the cross would become null and void.

Evil is evil, and you cannot change that, but God is so much bigger than evil that in His presence, evil becomes as small as a knat. It is ineffectual and powerless in the face of God Almighty. So Satan has to try very hard to make us believe that evil is indeed much more powerful than it appears, and even more powerful than God. This way we will fear evil and turn away from it. The problem with this is, we have turned our faces away from evil to the point where we have absolutely no discernment for it whatsoever. The Bible tells us to turn away from evil and do good, but it never once says to pretend it doesn’t exist. It says to have discernment for the work of the devil in our lives so we can protect ourselves instead.

Yet we have come to this point in our world where we have such little discernment for the spiritual nature of every single thing, that we are completely blind to the very evil in our own homes, let alone our churches. That is how satanic ritual abuse continues to exist to this very day, and will not stop. Innocent victims are being tortured daily in our world due to the fact that we refuse to believe it can be real. It is generational. One person comes into this abuse, and it spreads into every generation after them. It is like a curse and a disease. Yet there is a cure. There is always a cure.

But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Hebrews 5:14

The fact of the matter is, satanism happens wherever it is allowed. That means, it can happen in church, just like it did to me. Now I know some will say Mormonism is a cult (I agree) and that it’s not Christian, therefore it’s not a real church. According to dictionary.com, the definition of church is:

1. a building for public Christian worship.

2. public worship of God or a religious service in such a building

 the whole body of Christian believers;Christendom.

4.  any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; Christian denomination:

Therefore, any building where a group of people who come to worship their god and all have same beliefs, are a church. Which means Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventist and many other religions that people look at as a cult, are meeting in a church. And to the people that attend, it is a church.  A sacred place where they worship. That is all that it takes to make a church. And if it can happen in a Mormon church, it can happen in a Christian church, a Catholic church, or any other place where Satan has been given entrance and power through human rights.

How in the world can a Christian have anything to do with Satan? Isn’t that impossible? If you have followed any of my other blog posts or Youtube videos, then you know that it is very possible for even Christians to have a connection with darkness and the occult. Being a Christian does not mean you have broken evil out of your life, it means you accepted God’s free gift of salvation for eternity. Everything else is a work in progress for everyone.

Let’s use me as an example. So I was initiated into the occult basically at birth. I was taught how to do witchcraft, astral travel, worship false gods and accepted demons into my being. Yet because of the intense trauma I sustained I was unable to remember any of the actual events. Yet I still was in the occult, whether I knew it or not. My soul had taken part and accepted these things, and they were still a part of me. Years later I come to understand that Jesus loves me and wants to help me, so I accept Him as my Savior. That does not change or take away my past.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

Which leads me back to the world view I had: everything is evil. With that so deeply rooted within me, I took a lot of time and work to even come to a place where I was able to hear that I even believed these things. These beliefs kept me impotent to finding out the truth about my past. So although I was living a Christian life, I was still connected to darkness and unable to come to terms with that as a fact. It is only through submitting every part of you to God, even the dark parts we want to belief don’t exist, that we can get freedom from the darkness.

If I were to never have started inner healing and the truth, I could easily have found a way to have power in a church and brought satanism into that church. Satanism was still inside of me, and all I would have needed was 2 or 3 more who had the same type of agreements with the devil to work with me to start this at a church. Satan would have loved that! This is just an example, as it would take time and establishment and power within a church to actually start satanism within it, and I didn’t really have that on my side.

Most churches that are a party to satanism are already well established and have leaders who have great power and influence within them. These church leaders most likely have themselves been raised in satanic ritual abuse, and like me have no recollection of it whatsoever. They can do satanic rituals in church and not even realize they have done it. They gather together others within the church who have also been also raised with satanic ritual abuse and together they basically have a church within a church. Outsiders never even know it exists.

To understand this, you need to understand more about what happens to a person when they are traumatized to this severity. Extreme trauma causes dissociation. Dissociation basically means disconnecting from yourself, which is what a human has to do in traumatic circumstances to survive and not lose their mind. It is a coping mechanism that God has gifted us with so that we can continue to function and live through things that the devil has created to steal, kill, and destroy us. Here is a good article with more information on dissociation, but as it does not come from a perspective of God and how He views us and the world, please be advised to take any questions or thoughts on it directly to the Father. It is very important you do so.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

The object of much of the trauma is to create this dissociation within a person so that they have what are called alters. Basically what that means is that the brain splits to create different parts within the same person to create ways to handle the trauma. These alters or parts carry the memories and pain of the trauma, so that the conscious self does not have to. Again, this is a gift from God and has saved many people from death or insanity. Having these alters is actually quite common, as many people have experienced great trauma in their lives. Many would think a person like this would like like someone with split personalities, but they often do not. They usually look completely normal, and you would never have any idea.

That is how a Christian can also be a satanist. They have already been inducted into the occult through satanic ritual abuse as a child, and they have alters who carry the knowledge of the rituals. The alter comes forward and takes over to do rituals, and then goes dormant again while your conscious self takes over. The dissociation keeps you from consciously remembering that you just did a satanic ritual, just like it did to me as a child. People have to dissociate during these rituals, because no person will ever willing decide to partake in evil like that. Not unless it was already done to them for so long it forces them to become evil themselves.

I know that this may sound very scary for some people. It may sound like something that is too terrible to deal with. I completely understand that. The point I want to bring, is that God is so much bigger than whatever Satan has done. The power of God is so much stronger than whatever schemes the devil has put in place. God is the Redeemer and Healer. He has been healing my life, so I can start to speak the truth into this world so that others like me can find freedom too.

grFear is our enemy. We were not made with a spirit of fear, but with power, love and a sound mind. The devil wants to destroy that within each one of us by holding us captive to fear. If we keep living in fear of the devil or the unknown, we will never be able to move forward into healing and freedom. We cannot keep walking in this world and take everything at face value. We are spirits and everything in this world is based in the spiritual first, because God is spirit. It is because God is spirit that He is able to be everywhere all the time. That means that no matter what you have done or where you have been in life, God has always been there. Just like He was there for me during my ritual abuse.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18

There were many times when I was so angry at God for allowing these things to happen. Yet He was there with me, protecting my spirit from harm during these events. If He had not protected my spirit, I would have been corrupted and be going to hell instead of heaven. That is what the devil intended for me. But God did not allow that to happen. And in the big scope of this life, my days on this earth are only a blip on the radar. I will spend the rest of eternity rejoicing with Jesus!! I will never remember any of this pain or anguish here.

It is only because I have been willing to see my past and how it connected me with darkness that I am able to sit here and write this. And because I write this, God is going to move and bring healing and freedom into the lives of others who were caught in a life of misery and suffering just as I was, but had no idea why. There is always hope, there is always a cure. That cure is Jesus Christ. He loves us so much that He will never look down on us for anything we have ever done. No matter how bad. If He did, Saul would have never become the Apostle Paul, but would have stayed just a murderer.

If God can bring hope and healing into my life, He can do it for anyone and everyone. All it takes is a step of faith and trust. Those are some of the cornerstones of Christianity. We cannot always see things clearly, but if we trust that in giving all of ourselves to God He can help us, then we can take the journey that He created us for. A journey into finding out who we are in Christ, and who He made us to be.

Dearly beloveds, I know that you are struggling and feel hopeless and afraid. Take the hand of the Father and let Him love you. Let Him show you how He sees you. You are not evil, you are not alone, you are not lost. God has got you! He has never let you go, not for one minute. Stop letting the devil deceive you into believing his lies and let God bring healing and hope into your heart, right now. Believe in Him. He is good.

Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!

Psalm 31:9

September 12 2016

Redeeming My Life From The Pit

the pitIt has been about a year since I began my journey into inner healing. It has been quite a wild ride for me so far. When I first ventured into inner healing, I had no idea what I was even getting myself into. All I knew is that I was tired of being angry and sick and knew that God had made too many promises for me to live a life on victory to keep walking in pain. Yet I had no idea that when I begged God to help me to be better and to be closer to Him, that it would involve me walking into the deepest and darkest places of my soul. I had to come to grips with things about myself and about my life that many people will never begin to even fathom.

As I journeyed into myself, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I was horrified at what I found. Not only was I a child of the occult, who had participated in countless satanic rituals, but I was still connected with darkness in so many ways. On the outside I had fully pledged to give my life to Jesus Christ. I knew God and loved Him. I had seen His face and felt His presence. How could I possibly have any connection with darkness at all? I had renounced everything I had ever done wrong about a zillion times!

Yet there it was, staring me boldly in the face: I was still doing witchcraft and I had no idea. How can this be??? Well to understand why a person who is fully committed to Jesus Christ can do witchcraft and not know it, you will have to understand more about witchcraft itself. Witchcraft (which I have broken down step by step in this video) is not only about doing spells and rituals around an alter. When you get right down to what witchcraft is, it is simply using the power of the demonic inside of you paired with your intent to cause change around you.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4;16

This means all you have to do is think angry thoughts about someone, and if you have any connections with darkness, you have just done witchcraft, because those demons use that intent within you to carry it out against that person. It is really that simple and easy to do. Literally anyone can do witchcraft. The devil has tried very hard to create an image of what witchcraft is that is not the entire truth. Yes, there are people out there who identify as witches and use witchcraft as a lifestyle and religion, but that does not mean that only these witches do witchcraft.

It took me a long time to understand what witchcraft truly was. I had to go through many healing sessions in order to understand why I was still doing it, and how it all started and why I was still connected to darkness. I had to forgive myself for doing it and love myself through it. Through a lot of pain and abuse I was forced to choose witchcraft and I had a lot of hidden places inside of me that I was not consciously aware of still choosing witchcraft over God. Because I was not consciously aware of this, I was not able to disconnect those places from the darkness.

It was not until I was willing to go into theses deep and hidden places within myself that I was able to allow Jesus to show them to me. I could never have gone there on my own. These places are so filled with pain and trauma that it was not possible to even look at them without the help of God Himself. He had to walk with me and protect me in these places, so that He could bring healing to them which would allow me to disconnect from darkness.

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security. 

Jeremiah 33:6

I know for some it sounds very scary and terrifying to even think that this could be reality. Not just the pain and trauma, but walking with darkness and not even knowing it. What Christian (or even non Christian really) wants to think they might be doing witchcraft and not even know it?? None! I know I certainly didn’t! But the truth is, that because I have been willing to know this truth, I have been able to find incredible freedom!!

Going into these dark places has brought me to the lowest of lows; the pit. The pit is a terrible place to be. You feel alone, lost, confused, bewildered, depressed, angry, rejected, hated, and more. When you are in the pit, you cannot see out. You can see daylight, but it’s too far away to matter to you. I am not going to lie; this past year has been like hell for me. There have been times I wanted to die. There have been times I hated God and was ready to walk away from Him. There were times when I scared my husband because he really thought I was going to harm myself and he wasn’t home.

Healing isn’t easy and it isn’t pretty. But sometimes you have to get to the lowest of lows in order to start climbing back to the heights again. I lost my deep sense of connection with God. I lost myself. But how can you not loose everything when your whole world is shaken? The very core of who I thought I was, was torn asunder. I was left with nothing. Nothing but the Rock on which I stand. It is that Rock which has carried me through, even when I didn’t care to hear His name, because the pain was more than I could possibly bear.

He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure.

Psalm 40:2

Every healing journey will be different. Every person’s life and past is different. But there is one thing that is always the same: our human emotions. And they will always threaten to take over and bring us to places we don’t think we can ever handle. But we will, if we have already built a foundation on Jesus Christ. No matter what we go through or walk into, Jesus Christ will redeem us from it. Always.

During the past year as I fell deep into the pit, so did everything around me. My relationships, my house, my body. I gained a lot of weight, my house was always a mess, I could barely cook a decent meal and for a time we basically lived on fast food and frozen meals. I hated myself for it too. It was my job to clean and cook and take care of the house and I couldn’t even do that. Some days all I could do was just keep breathing and stay alive. It really was that difficult.

Yet here I sit today, on a Monday of all days, writing about the immense hope and joy God has given me through this process. I am nowhere near done, but I am so very thankful for where I am. Mondays have been the worst day of every week for several months. I have had the most spiritual attack on Mondays because of my blog, and it has come from several sources that are very powerful. Monday has been a day where I barely make it through the day because I am so overwhelmed by the attack against me. The curse is over my friends, and now I sit rejoicing!

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us

Romans 5:3-5

Last Monday was the third Monday in a row that I felt good. I mean really good. I decided to start on the housework that had been neglected for a very long time. As I was scrubbing my shower that was so moldy it was black around the bottom, I was praising God and rejoicing. I felt amazing that I was cleaning this disgusting mold up, because three weeks prior, I wouldn’t even have been able to even consider cleaning the shower. I would have looked at it and felt shame and self hatred.

Yet there I was, working my butt off and loving it! It felt so good! In the past two weeks I have started working on getting healthier and getting organized. I am starting to loose some weight and exercise and clean and I am feeling so thankful for it. I am not saying I feel great every day, or that I am even back to where I was before I started all of this, because I am not. But the days of the pit are over, and I pray that I will not go back.

Recently I was reading the book ‘School of Prophets’ by Kris Valloton, a really amazing book, and I came to a really important revelation. I want to walk in the call God has for me, and I want to help people. I want to be able to maybe speak to groups of people and pray for them and write a book someday and do so much more with my ministry. I have been very upset that my ministry seems to small and unimportant in the scope of the big picture of things. I have actually been angry and sad about it. In this book there is a “Core Values Assessment Test” and as I read through the questions, it as like a smack in the face. I have so far left to go on my healing journey.

woods-768753_1920I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. If I want to walk in the call God has given me, if I want to reach the full potential that He has created in me, and if I want to do the amazing things He has shown me are possible, then I need to keep doing the work. And even though I have been in the pit, and have been so broken and lost, God has still used me. What an incredible miracle! God has such grace upon His children. Because I have been willing to walk out my healing and surrender to His love, He has been growing my ministry and using me in incredible ways. I am so very thankful for that.

So for today, I am going to focus on today. I am not going to focus on wondering what my future holds, or what my next healing session holds, but instead I will focus on getting better today, loving my family today, and living with Jesus today. I know that healing can seem terrifying and maybe like too much work. But today, I invite you to let go of all of your fears and anxieties and give them to God, your Father. He cares so much for you. He knows the struggles you have and why, and all He wants is to bring you to the person He created you to be.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18

This world has molded and shaped you into it’s own liking, and has caused you to fall so far from the glory of God in your life. It’s not just about our sin, but about our willingness to go inside ourselves and see where we need healing and reshaping by the very hands of God. Jesus knows you already, and knows all the dark places inside of you. He does not hate you or look down on you for them. Even if it turns out you are connected with darkness and doing witchcraft. He doesn’t care about that: He cares about your heart and He cares about you. He loves you and He wants the best for you: being who He created you to be.

There is no condemnation in Jesus Christ. There is only love, grace and mercy. That is my testimony. The love of God will set you free, if only you are willing to choose it, and love Him more than yourself. If you refuse to look into those dark places (with His help) and walk into healing with Him, then you are choosing yourself over God. Wanting to stay in denial is not going to help you, but only cause you, and those you love more harm. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Let Him bring you freedom, and life! No it will not be easy. No it will not always feel good. Yes it takes a lot of work and time, but each and every one of us needs to go there.

If you are in the pit today, take heart that there is hope for you! The pit is only a temporary place, no matter what it feels like right now. Jesus Christ is our hope and glory and if you keep giving your life and yourself over to Him, you will be redeemed. He has promised this. If you know there is more for you in this life, yet no matter what you have done it is still just out of arm’s reach; then know that this is a sign for you. It is your turn beloved. It is your time to walk into healing with Jesus Christ.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:5

September 5 2016

Happy Labor Day!

flag Happy Labor Day! Have a wonderful week! I will resume my regular posting next Monday! Love and blessings always, Beth!