October 31 2016

Astral Travel and Satanic Rituals

astral travelOne year ago on Halloween I had my first real experience where I understood what human spirits are, and I wrote my first post about them. Before that the concept of human spirits and astral travel was still so new to me. I had a very vague understanding of what human spirits were and how they worked. Here I am a year later, and my knowledge and understanding have grown immensely. There is very little information on human spirits available today, and so I would like to share some of what I know, in order to help educate those who are on the path to seeking a deeper understanding.

What exactly are human spirits? Contrary to the name, human spirits are not actually the spirits of humans, but the souls. I’m not actually sure why they are called “human spirits”, but it doesn’t seem to be important to know at this point. The human soul has the ability to leave the body and travel outside of it. In order to understand this, let’s look a little at what makes up a human being.

Humans are three parts in one, just as God is. “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ”. 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Creating us as three parts in one is another way we are made in the image of God.

God created humans first as spirit. All spirits first were with God, before our spirits moved into a body, or temporary home here on earth. The Bible tells us this here: Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5. God did not just chose Jeremiah before He formed Him, He chose all of us before He formed us. We read this here in Ephesians 1:12-13 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.” 

When God creates our bodies, He also gives us souls. As we see in Genesis 2:7, God breathes life into our bodies, giving us a soul. “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Our soul is separate from the body and the spirit. The body is a temporary house, or temple of God. “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.” 2 Corinthians 5:1

Our souls are a place of thought, emotion and will. It is our soul that needs to choose salvation in Jesus Christ, because it is what is operating out of free will. We can see some examples here where the soul has free will in Job 7:15: “So that my soul would choose suffocation, Death rather than my pains.” and  “My soul refuses to touch them; They are like loathsome food to me.” Job 6:7. Here is another passage where we see our soul connected to our emotions:  And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior” Luke 1:46-47.

So with these passages we have a good understanding of what the human being consists of. God has made us so beautifully and so intricately, in order that we can know Him in ways so much deeper than if we were only a soul. So how exactly can a human soul leave the body and travel around outside of it? The Bible gives us examples that this is possible in Genesis 35:18 “It came about as her soul was departing (for she died), that she named him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin.”

As we know the devil has a counterfeit for anything of God that he can. God allows our spirits to travel and there are several examples in the Bible. The difference is, this is initiated by God, and for His purposes, not ours. Ezekiel 37:1 “The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones.”  And Revelation 4:2 “At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne.” Even Paul tells of traveling to the Third Heaven to be with God.

Satan wants to keep us from our inheritance and relationship with God. So he has created this form of soul travel for his purposes. When a soul leaves the body, the body is then open to be inhabited by other spirits, demonic or human. As our soul travels around it is subject to attack itself, by demonic spirits that can do astral rituals on it, or even have sex with it. The New Age Movement is a huge proponent of the benefits of astral travel, and there are tons of guides and books to help you learn how to do it. It has only gained in popularity with time, and Satan loves to continue to deceive people into believing it is perfectly safe.

It is not just people who are exploring the New Age Movement who astral travel, but also people who explicitly do it for the purposes of evil. Many witches use astral travel as a means to wreak havoc on unsuspecting victims. These astral travelers perform astral rituals over people, spy on people, harass them, and much more. Whatever a human can think to do while in this form to another human, they will do it.

What is an astral ritual? And astral ritual is a witchcraft ritual that is done by a human spirit, or a group of human spirits. They find a place in the spiritual realm to set up an altar and perform a ritual. It is exactly the same as a physical ritual, but done in the spiritual realm instead. These astral rituals directly affect whoever they are being done on or over. Because these are done in the spiritual realm, the person who is the victim of the ritual will not even know it is happening. They will feel the effects of it, but they won’t know what they are feeling or why. Most likely they will feel some sort of emotional torment, devastation, a sense of falling apart, inability to function, and things of that nature.

I have been a victim of these sort of rituals many times. It took a lot of freedom through healing and understanding of the spiritual realm and the nature of the occult to even know what was happening to me. There are many people who are victims to harassment of human spirits and never have any idea. That is because the devil wants to keep all of this information well hidden from most people, so they cannot stop it. Yet there is more to it than just being harassed.

Who is a likely candidate for being harassed by human spirits? Anyone who has every had any ties to the occult. That means generational curses, blood rites, blood ties, for starters. You may not even be aware that somewhere in your family line someone gave the ancestral line to Satan. It always stays well hidden. The whole goal of Satan is to keep any links we have to him so well hidden that we can never discover them. He always starts generations before we are even born.

You may have an ancestor somewhere in your family line that has given over rights to the entire blood line, which means rights have been given to you, and even your children. It is in your blood line. You may have family members in the occult. That can look like family that is obviously doing witchcraft or new age, or they could be in a cult. A cult is any group that has a particular belief linked back to the idealization of a particular person or deity. Usually it looks religious in nature. Some examples are Mormons, Jehovah;s Witness, and Seventh Day Adventist, just to name a few. There are far more, these are just the most popular. There are many cults that appear to be Christian from the outside as well.

Other ways can be from past family members who have been in a cult or have aligned themselves openly with witchcraft or the new age. Then there are those of us who have sought out the occult and aligned ourselves with darkness purposefully. It is very possible that if you know you have been in the occult and doing witchcraft, that you were already attached to it through family blood lines. That is why it is very important for each of us to go on our own individual healing journey, starting with a deliverance that goes to the head demon inside. Deliverance is the first step, and it helps clear out the way to get to the deeper things within ourselves.

Why do human spirits want to harass people? There are several different reasons why a someone would want to astral travel to harass others. One reason is they were assigned that job. They may be assigned to watch or spy on you. Remember, the enemy does not want us close to God. He does not want us growing in our connection to Christ and therefore becoming who He created us to be, fulfilling our call. That is his whole purpose. So he wants to keep us connected to the occult, and by watching us he can know how to act against us. He can form plans to destroy us in whichever way he deems best.

Other reasons these human spirits harass is to keep us connected to the occult. If they can come and do witchcraft over us, or astral rituals, that will keep us in bondage to the occult. Since we have no idea these things are happening, we are helpless to stop it and thereby cutting our ties to the occult. Another reason for harassment is simply because the devil wants to distract us or keep us suffering. If we are feeling the effects of human spirits or astral rituals, we have a hard time functioning or coping, yet we have no idea why. This often leads people away from Christ, because they feel so miserable yet it seems that God does not help.

How does a soul leave the body? I do not have specifics in this area yet. I only know that it is something that is very easy to do. There are tons of guides on how to do, although I don’t recommend you seek it out without guidance from the Holy Spirit. If you have ever heard of someone having an out of body experience, then that is a perfect example of leaving the body. If you have ever heard someone say they were watching an event in their life as if they were looking down on it, not actually in it, that is the same thing as astral  travel. Astral travel does not have to mean you travel far from the body, you simply have to leave it.

For me, I was taught to leave my body during severe trauma and abuse in satanic rituals. It is the abuse that is so terrible that you cannot bear it that causes you to want to leave. This is why you may hear victims of any type of trauma (car accidents, etc.) or abuse say that they were watching the event as if they were looking down on what was happening. The trauma is a motivating factor to leave because the mind cannot handle the amount of trauma happening to them. For some people, leaving the body is the only reason they were able to stay alive. Otherwise the trauma would have been so detrimental it could have caused death, if not extreme damage to the mind. Humans were not designed for that much trauma, yet God gives us a way out of it.

The enemy did not create astral travel, he simply uses it for his purposes and works. He has found it extremely beneficial, and he will always find ways to use things that are not bad for his evil. Anyone who does astral travel is not bad. Astral travel does not make you evil. Doing evil does not make you evil. It is when your heart completely turns against God that you become evil, and that is not something that happens easily. No one chooses evil without some sort of belief that it is better than choosing God. It is a long process to turn someone completely against God, because we were created to live in partnership with our Creator and Father. It is in our DNA.

I know that for many people, the whole idea of human spirits, astral travel, and astral rituals is terrifying. When I first began to come into understanding of these things it was extremely confusing for me. Yet God has taught me all of this not just for my own benefit, but for yours as well. We have to be willing to come out of hiding from the knowledge of the spiritual realm and what is going on right over our heads and in our lives. Otherwise we will be unable to fight the good fight against the enemy that seeks to destroy us.

God knows our hearts, every one of us. He is not worried about our salvation. If you have given your life to Christ, then God knows this, and He honors the covenant He has made with you. He does not go back on His promises. God only cares about bringing you to where you were made to be. With Him through Christ. That means removing the veil and cleansing us of all darkness, so we can do the good works He created us for before we were ever born. In order to do this, we have to do the work to heal whatever covenants with darkness are within us.

person-1245959_1280This is not something to fear, but something to rejoice in! Rejoice because this is such a wonderful opportunity for you to partner with the Lord, and walk with Him in this. It’s an opportunity to get to know God so much deeper, and to learn who you really are in Christ! These are all things we are missing out on, because we have remained ignorant of any strongholds keeping us in bondage. It takes a humble heart to admit you have a problem, and an even more contrite heart to admit that there are alignments with darkness within us. I know, because I have been walking through it for an entire year.

It has been difficult at best for me to allow Jesus into the darkest parts of my soul, because that meant I had to look at those places myself. Jesus already knew they were there, but He was not allowed in because I had exercised free will to say no to Him. Yet it was all fear and shame that kept me from going there, and that was jut another tactic of the devil. This past year may have been hell for me, but it has also been experiencing God the Father in the most amazing ways, and seeing that I am very loved, no matter what. What a revelation!

We are all on our own journey in this life. The difference is whether we are willing to take chances to be with God. Because that’s what healing is. It’s getting to really experience and know God the way He intended us to. Just like Adam and Eve in the Garden, but even better! For me, it is completely worth it all. Ever hardship, every pain, every event of my life that lead me to where I am now, has been 100% worth Jesus Christ. If He can die for me, then I can certainly die for Him. Yet my death is to self, and the chains of the devil. That is not something to fear, it is very simply a miracle!

Let’s come together and fight this fight that God has set before us. Let us walk together and hold each other up through it. You are not alone, no matter how bad it feels. You have persevered this far, so surely God will strengthen you to keep going! It is His will for you to find freedom and victory through Christ. That is why Christ has come for us. Let us wash ourselves clean by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony, so that when the day comes, we will be the spotless bride, prepared for His arrival.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:12



October 24 2016

Fight The Good Fight

sword-308836_1280Sometimes it is hard to fight the good fight. October is one of the hardest months for me. The battle against God heightens this time of year, as Satan ramps up his attacks, using his own army to do his evil bidding. The purpose of the devil in this world is to steal, kill, and destroy, and he will stop at nothing to see that done. October is the time of the year where the season changes, and along with it brings change of weather and daylight hours. The days become shorter and the nights become longer. As it begins to get cold and rainy, more people begin to stay indoors. Yet for witches, this is a time of year for celebration.

The darkness is not something to run or hide from when you are partnered with it. Darkness is something to be reveled in, something that brings comfort. So Satan has used this time of year as another excuse to bring worship to himself. It starts with Halloween, a high and holy night for witches and Satanists alike. Halloween celebrations start well before October 31st however. They start as early as October 13, which is backwards Halloween. They then continue on with two weeks of preparation leading up to Halloween night.

It is not just Halloween that is celebrated during the month of October. There are several other satanic ritual days that are celebrated, including the full moon. All of these satanic activity is happening world-wide. Satan does not limit his followers to just one place or one country. He has them everywhere. And in every country on this satanic ritual nights there are witches who gather together to do rituals. This equates to high amounts of witchcraft being sent out worldwide. It has a massive effect on every single person, whether we know it or not.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

Ephesians 5:11

For people who have survived the occult, as I have, there is a certain sensitivity to this witchcraft activity. Because I have been involved in it I know what it feels like. I can sense it around us and it feels terrible. Many people also sense it, they just don’t realize that they feel it. Feeling witchcraft, or witchcraft attack, can feel like being very emotional, feeling unstable or unsettled, feeling anxious or afraid, feeling depressed, confused, or even angry. You feel some or even all of these feelings for no apparent reason. You may even attribute it to something in your life, even though the feelings are very strong or even overwhelming you to the point where you don’t understand why.

For some people witchcraft translates into having a very bad day or “bad luck”. Things keep going wrong around you or to you. Accidents happen everywhere you look. People seem to be acting crazy or irrational. If you have ever heard that a full moon makes you crazy, that is because of the high ritual activity on full moon nights. Ritual nights been hundreds of thousands are gathering together in groups big and small to perform witchcraft together. These rituals can be sexual or sacrificial or both, but they are usually one or the other.

With the heightened amount of witchcraft in the air so to speak in October, it makes it very difficult for me. Add to that the attack I get just for sharing my testimony and for getting free from the occult, and you have a serious amount of attack almost every single day this month. I see it affect my kids (they just get out of control, over emotional over very small issues, hurt each other and more) and it kills me. I hate to see how witchcraft can just pummel my household and bring me to my knees. Some days I can barely make it through because the impact of feeling it to the degree I do can be debilitating.

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

2 Corinthians 10:4

I admit there are days I want to give up. The devil has the intent to bring me down and keep me quiet. That is not really a new concept for the devil. A friend sent me a very interesting article about how witches are gathering together to work against Donald Trump to cause him to want to quit. This was a great article for me, as it reminded me that I am in a war, but it’s not against flesh and blood. It is not the people who are doing the witchcraft that are the problem, it is the devil himself. I cannot look at humans and have rage or malice to them, even though they are attacking me, my ministry and my family. I have to place all the blame where it belongs. Satan.

I know many people say that we need to not focus on the devil or what the devil is doing. I just cannot agree with that. We absolutely need to focus on Jesus Christ, His salvation and a relationship with Him. He is our everything, and we are here for Him. But God did not just create us to be with Him. He created us to partner with Him. He created us to fight the good fight of faith. When God through Satan out of heaven and here to earth, He knew exactly what He was doing. He was giving His children a marvelous opportunity.

I know that many people blame God for evil, or for bad things happening to people or on earth. They think God must be evil or powerless. We just aren’t seeing our true purpose. As spirit we can know God; we can be with God. Yet God did not just want to know us; He wanted to be inside of us, working with us and through us. Not for selfish reasons, but for us! When God made us in His image, it was out of love. Not so we could be like God, but so we could experience God in ways that are otherwise impossible! It is through this world, this body, and this existence that we can know God in the most intimate and wonderful ways.

Know that the Lord, he is God!
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Psalm 100:3

So when God kicked Satan down to earth it was for  purpose. A purpose to partner with us and to teach that devil a lesson. We as believer’s in Christ have more power and authority than the devil does in his little finger. We were made to fight! We were created to partner with God and kick that devil’s butt! God did not put us on the earth to be mean or just with a hope that we would be able to make it through. No. He did it because He wants to see us trample on that serpent and show him who is boss. We are, because we have God inside of us.

Jesus Christ came as an example. An example of love, of hope, and of victory! The devil is confounded by the ways of God! He cannot understand them. He never would have thought God would come to earth as a man and then let Himself be killed! Yet it was through that death that Jesus now reigns supreme. The devil cannot even touch Him. And that is what we are partnering with. The blood of the holy and precious Lamb of God runs in our veins. So even though the devil can have his day, attacking us and causing us fear, doubt and pain, he cannot ever kill our spirit, which is seated right now in the heavenlies with Christ.

This is why the devil truly hates us. We should be nothing. We are weak. We are helpless and powerless. Without Christ. Yet with God, we are carrying the power and authority of all of heavens armies within us. Nothing can stop the Lord God Almighty. That is why we need to get back to the root of why we are even here. Not to suffer, not to sin, but to fight! We need to fight the good fight with faith, hope and love. Nothing is going to help us persevere against the attacks of the devil more than these things, because they are from God Himself.

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:11-12

faea5cc7e5df4bf365a4cd0793e1668cEvery time I have been down for the count and ready to tap out, God has graciously reminded me why I am here. Every time I want to throw it all away and just take this blog down forever, God shows me that it wasn’t all for nothing. All of my pain, my suffering, my torment; it was not for no good reason. It was for hope. It was for love. It was to strengthen me to keep up the good fight. While Satan meant to destroy me, God used all of it to make me stronger. Strong enough to walk in this call He has on my life. Walking this out is not for the faint of heart; it is for the mighty in faith.

Everything I have been through should have torn me down. And for a time it did. Yet through the death of Christ I have risen from the ashes of defeat into a life reborn. I am alive in Christ, and through Him I am more than a conqueror. I am victorious. And one day when I get to heaven, I will receive the rewards that God has set aside for me, because I did not love my life unto death. No, some days it doesn’t feel worth it. But that is OK. We all have our bad days. As long as we can focus on Christ long enough to regain our strength, we can rise up again victorious through Him. He is good. He is worth it all.

I have never known love until I knew God. I have never experienced true pleasure or joy, until I had it with God. Everything pales in comparison to the glorious riches I have gained in this relationship with Jesus. He is everything. And everything else falls away into nothingness when you truly see and know the glory of God. I know I am not alone in this fight. And I am so very thankful to every saint who is standing by my side right now, fighting right with me. I also know I am not alone in struggling and suffering. There are many who are in the trenches and have been hit so hard they can’t even look up anymore.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

1 Timothy 4:7

I am here to tell you, you are not alone. God is with you. He sees you. He has never left you and He never will. I know you are afraid to look up, because when you do you see pain. Yet I implore you to look past that pain and into the very eyes of God. Allow His glory to flow over you in this moment and give you the breathe you need to keep on going. Give Him your burdens and your pains and take on His yoke, for it is easy and sweet to bear. He wants to show you that your life was not built for a bed of suffering, but for a platform to glorify Him instead. God has so much more for you, yet you have believe the lies that you are not good enough for God.

You are good enough for God, and He wants you right now. Not matter where you are at in your life or what you have done. He wants to use you to kick that devil’s butt and bring you into the victory He has already claimed. You. Maybe you are nobody and can’t see how God can use you. Well neither did I. A housewife, an ex witch, an ex drug addict, tattooed up and unschooled in the Bible. Yet God has raised me up, and He will do the same for you! You can do this my brothers and sisters! Fight the good fight and never give up! You will see the day come when the blessings of heaven pour out over you and through you!

Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light,

and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

Isaiah 60:1-3


October 17 2016

The Other Side of Darkness Turns 2!

bloggingToday officially marks the 2 year anniversary of The Other Side of Darkness blog! I am very excited about moving into toddler hood with my blog! I remember very clearly two years ago how this blog came to be. Since it was October I was on a quest to spread the truth about the evils of Halloween. I spent time on various Facebook pages and would try to let people know, that as an ex witch Halloween was not just fun and games.

One person from a group sent me a private message and wanted to talk to me more about Halloween and my perspective as an ex witch. She felt very strongly that Halloween was not something that Christians should celebrate, but her family loved the holiday. So we chatted for a bit over instant message. I remember her saying “I wish you had a blog so I could just send people to it and they could hear all of this truth.” That really sparked an idea in me at that moment.

I can’t really take the credit for the idea though, as I know it was completely the Holy Spirit. As we continued to talk we decided to record an interview over Skype and she would publish it on YouTube. We had quite a few problems and even had to record it twice, but were able to get it up just before Halloween. I was so passionate about telling the truth about Halloween and the idea of writing a blog was really brewing in my head.

I told my husband about the idea and asked him to pray. We both felt the Lord calling me to start a blog to tell my story and testimony of what He has done. I am no stranger to writing or blogging. I have been writing since I was 13 years old. I started out with poetry and then moved into short stories. I loved to write and continued to do so for another 10 years, until my depression killed all my desire to write anymore.

Then in 2008 I decided to start my first blog. I can’t exactly remember what it was about, but I think it was motherhood. I was hosted free by Blogger and I didn’t end up writing much. Then eventually I decided to try to put more effort into a blog to try to make money. I was a stay at home mom and I really wanted to earn some money for our family. At that time I was cloth diapering, and I had become extremely knowledgeable about all things cloth diapering. So I created my first website about natural parenting, called Eco Baby Buzz. I created the website from scratch.

That also did not work out and I decided to give it another go, this time focusing strictly on cloth diapering, since I learned having a niche was the best way to have a blog. I called this blog The Cloth Diaper Connection, and I also created it from scratch and wrote everything on the site. It was a very good blog I think! I used something called SBI to help build the site and host it. It was expensive and the site did not make any money, so after a year, I turned the rights over to SBI because I didn’t want to take the site down completely. It is still there today!

So when I decided to write this blog, I already had experience and knowledge and a love for writing. All I needed now was a name. I tried brainstorming some names, but when The Other Side of Darkness popped into my head, I knew it was perfect, and I knew it was from the Lord! I asked my husband to pray about it as well, and of course he felt strongly that it was the right name. All I had left to do was create the site!

I spent several weeks writing non stop as I began to tell the story of my life. At least, from what I remembered at that time. I had so many holes in my childhood that I really could not say much about it, so my life story begins at about age 13, which is when I have clear memories of my life. I was so excited to write again! I felt such joy as the words easily poured out of me. It is easy to write when you are just retelling your life. The real challenge came when I came to the end of my story (current time for me) and had to decide where to go from there.

As I went along I kept praying for vision and insight into what God wanted from my blog. I knew I was doing this to glorify Him, so I wanted to make sure I did so. I had a very bumpy first year, because it is very hard to get a blog into the world so people can actually find it. I tried to post it on Facebook or wherever I could think to, but the first year ended with maybe 10 subscribers and an average of 3-8 views a day for the first 8 months.

In October 2015 God really elevated my testimony when a YouTube video I did of my testimony went viral all over Facebook and I saw traffic increase to 1000 a day! It was such a huge miracle! I had come from a year of not even writing consistently because I felt so discouraged. I have put my heart and soul into everything I write. I have put myself out for the whole world to see, in order to share the Gospel and the testimony of the Lord, and just became so disheartened when I barely had any visitors. So this huge influx gave me such great hope!

After that I had several interviews right before Halloween. Everyone wanted to hear from the ex witch turned Christian about Halloween. It felt great and I felt like God was really moving through my blog and testimony. I got super excited about traffic increase permanently. God had given me several promises about elevating my testimony and what He was going to do with it, so I thought “this is it!”. However, it did not continue.

By December of 2015 traffic had decreased greatly, but it was still much more than the 8 visitors a day I had before. It raised to around 100 a day. I had to constantly remind myself to be patient and keep faithful. I set a schedule to post every week instead of when I felt like it. I committed to working on my blog no matter how many people came to it. I just could not see the big picture of what God was doing, so I just tried to keep my head down and keep plugging along.

Then in May, Charisma magazine started picking up some of my blog posts and YouTube videos. Again I saw a great wave of traffic coming in, and since then traffic has increased to nearly 200 a day. So it has been a huge blessing. I have also seen my subscribers go from 10 to 275! It really is a huge blessing to see my baby start to walk. I have been nurturing and loving my blog and to see it finally on it’s feet, is so sweet to me.

I am so thankful to God for all He has done with my blog. I am thankful that He has helped me gain some perspective that my blog is still very young and it takes time to grow to maturity. I am thankful that I have an outlet to write again, because it brings me so much joy. And I am so thankful that God has given me this platform to share the truth! Who am I that I should have any platform whatsoever, no matter how small? Yet here I am!

God is so good and so faithful and so loving. He is with us, guiding us towards His plan for us. Sometimes I really have a hard time seeing what God’s bigger plan is for me, but I have been faithful even in the little things. I really think that is what is important. We often get so caught up in the middle of it all and can’t see out. We have no idea what things God really is doing, because we don’t have that perspective He does. But if we just stay faithful to what is right in front of us, and keep close to our Father, we will see the outcome. It does not matter how long that takes. Abraham waited 25 years to see the promise of his son come true! God never fails on His word. We just have to trust.

If you are waiting on a promise from God, or just starting out on a path He has laid out for you, just know this: there is nothing more important than your relationship with Him. It is that relationship that will keep you on track, and keep you strong when the waters get rough. It is the intimacy that will help you know Him more, and know that He is true to His word and that He really cares about you and wants good things for you! So no matter what, stay close to your Father, and just keep following Him. He loves you! He is good!

I am so thankful to everyone who has been following my journey. I am so happy that you find any blessing from whatever is on this site. It is all from our Father God, and I pray many more blessings to you and yours.

October 10 2016

I Was Abused In A Satanic Halloween Ritual

satanic halloweenTwo years ago, as a brand new Christian, I came to the realization I had to let go of Halloween. As a non-Christian I absolutely loved Halloween. Obsessed really. I loved all things horror and gore, as a matter of fact. Zombies, witches, vampires, you name it. I was fascinated by all of it. We had quite the collection of Halloween decorations sitting in our garage that we had been working on for years. Costumes, skull lights, a severed head, tombstones, body parts, etc. All to make our yard look nice and festive for the Halloween season.

It was actually very easy for me to let go of Halloween that first year. I had come into this new relationship with Christ and experienced His love immeasurable. All I wanted was to give myself to God and receive more of Him in return. The love and the guidance of my beautiful Savior was something that I had longed for my entire life. And as I gave myself over to Christ, I found myself wanting to leave behind my old life of pain and death and despair.

Walking away from my old life meant leaving behind all of my associations with witchcraft and the occult. That meant my books on witchcraft, gods and goddesses, my Buddha statues, crystals, tarot cards, and much more. I knew that witchcraft was not something to trifle with, because it was dangerous. It was allowing darkness into my life and my home, and I was done with the darkness. Done. The darkness had done nothing good for me ever, but Jesus had given me life and hope.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

So that year we took that entire box of Halloween decorations and dumped it all in the trash where it belonged. I knew Halloween was a high holy day for witches and Satanists, because I had celebrated it many times as a witch myself. I had even done spells and rituals on this holy of holy nights. Halloween is when witches see the veil between the world at its thinnest, and they do rituals to contact the dead. They also use this time to celebrate death, because in the pagan culture, death is not the end of life, but the beginning of life in another world.

The next year on Halloween, I began to speak out about my testimony of how I broke free from witchcraft and that Halloween ia actually a pagan celebration. I was so passionate about sharing the truth with the world, because I didn’t want to see people getting sucked into the lies of the devil. So many people, Christians and non Christians alike, love Halloween. They get caught up in the season of Halloween, which is full of dressing up, parties, goodies, and other fun things. Little do they know that they are actually being a party to witchcraft in the process.

I remember last year speaking to a woman who was a satanic ritual abuse survivor and being so worried for her as she told me how difficult October is for her every year. I couldn’t quite understand why, but I knew that the increase of witchcraft activity must have a part to play in it. I learned more about the Satanic aspect of Halloween and the sacrificial murders that happen on this night. Yet it still seemed so far away from my own reality.

‘You shall not give any of your offspring to offer them to Molech, nor shall you profane the name of your God; I am the LORD.

Leviticus 18:21

It was just about that time last year that I began to have my own memories of being abused and tortured in satanic rituals as a child. I was barely coming to terms with it even being real for me as the memories slowly came in every week. It has taken me an entire year to process and understand and come to grips with some pretty intense truths about myself and this world we live in. One of those being that Halloween is far more than just a pagan holiday where witchcraft is prevalent.

It was only recently that God took me into a memory of being in a satanic ritual on Halloween. I cannot even say how many Halloweens I was forced to be involved in rituals on Halloween, as I am taking my time going through as the Holy Spirit wills. What the Holy Spirit has shown me was being taken into a satanic ritual at the tender age of 3. I don’t think any person can truly fathom the reality and the evil of a satanic ritual, and I do not intend to ever go into great detail about them, but I am going to explain enough so that you can have a better understanding.

Satanic rituals are not new to our world. They have been around for thousands of years, and they are talked about in the Bible, when people were sacrificing their children to the god Molech. Molech is the god of human sacrifice, and he is highly worshiped in satanic cults, along with many other gods and goddesses. Molech is a demon, not a god, and he is controlled by Satan himself. In ancient times satanic rituals were done out in the open where anyone could see. They were not hidden. But times have changed and the rituals have not stopped, they just had to be moved into places where it would not be detected.

And he burned his son as an offering and used fortune-telling and omens and dealt with mediums and with necromancers. He did much evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking him to anger.

2 Kings 21:6

All satanic rituals have one main purpose: to align people with the kingdom of darkness, so they can be filled with evil and be used to carry out the works of the devil. The devil has to do this, because what else does he have to gain power? No one would openly align themselves with the devil over darkness, when they know the Truth of the goodness of God. No, the devil always resorts to lies and deceptions in order to steal away God’s people, and he targets the most innocent first.

I remember quite clearly on this particular Halloween night getting dressed up and going to my Grandmother’s house with my parents. I was excited to show her my costume and go trick or treating. I had a Donnie Osmond doll with me. On my own I can recall nothing more. Yet here is what the Holy Spirit revealed to me. My parents told me before we went around the neighborhood we were going to go by the church (Mormon Church) for a fall festival there. The church was very close to my grandmother’s house, and I knew so from going often.

We went to the church and what happened next made my blood curdle. I was given candy, but that was just a preclude to the sexual abuse that would happen in a satanic ritual. On Halloween Satanists use young children, such as myself, as sexual idols to worship. Other children receive a far worse fate. Death. I know for some this is more than you can even think to believe, but it is true. I can barely write these words because the pain of the truth is almost more than I can bear. If it wasn’t for the grace and love of Jesus Christ, I would not even be here writing this at all.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace,expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:6-7

Why would anyone do such sick things to a child? There are a lot of reasons really. Most likely they are acting from what they know; their own sadistic abuse. Satanism doesn’t just all of a sudden show up. It gets implanted and takes roots and grows over time. It starts off small and infects everyone around it who isn’t grounded in Christ and able to see the truth of the evil around them. That is why Satan starts with children. If he can do this to small children, then they will grow up and do it to children themselves. That is what Satan’s plan was for me.

There are many churches that are going to have just the same type of rituals on Halloween night. Christian churches, Catholic churches, and more. Satan does not care what your religious beliefs are, he only cares that he can get a door in. Once he gets that door open, he is in for good, because the deception is just so deep. If we as a society cannot see that this happens, or refuse to believe it could be true, then no wonder Satan is in so deeply.

We have to be willing to open our eyes to the world around us. Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy, and he is doing it by masking it as peace, love and light. Yet the Bible makes it clear Satan will come in disguise as an angel of light. As long as we keep deciding to turn our backs to these sort of truths, we are going to continue to be held captive in this world. I am not alone in this abuse. Hundreds of thousands of others are just like me, and have been subjected to torment on Halloween night. And many more will also be tortured and murdered on Halloween as every year passes. The only difference between myself and most other victims is, I chose to allow God to bring me healing and remember it. I could not have done it without Jesus. It would be impossible.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

1 Peter 2:24

Halloween night is a night full of rituals, but also witchcraft. Witches and Satanists of all kinds get together in groups and perform rituals and also do spells and astral travel. This means that Halloween night is so full of witchcraft that it is basically impossible not to feel the effects of it. Most people do not understand what witchcraft feels like, so they have no idea. There is literally so much witchcraft going on that night that it is overtaking the world. That means that every single person that is participating in any type of Halloween activity on Halloween night is actually in agreement with all the rituals and witchcraft.

That means when we take our kids out to trick or treat, or to a fall festival or even to a costume party, we are coming into agreement with Halloween and what it is. We are not only teaching our children that Halloween is good and safe, but we are inadvertently allowing them to be aligned with darkness. In the laws of the spiritual realm, that is all it takes to make an agreement, or covenant. It is very important we stop looking at the world for just the physical nature of it, and start realizing that there is a spiritual side that encompasses every aspect of everything. Do we want to come into agreement with ritual abuse of children or witchcraft? I know, I do not.

Halloween is still a very difficult time for me, as I am faced with constant reminders about my abuse as I drive through the neighborhood or go to any stores. They are all filled with Halloween decorations, especially decorations of skulls, witches and other such things, that are directly related to satanic abuse for me. I used to love Halloween because so much of me was aligned with darkness. Now I am finding incredible levels of freedom, and Halloween can never hold anything fun or good to me ever again.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

Colossians 2:8

worshipJesus has been absolutely central in my finding freedom, redemption and healing from my pain and my own personal hell. He has shown me a love like I have never known before in my entire life. He has shown me that His love is something that is pure and untainted, and that I am indeed special and valuable to God. Even more so, that I am wanted and precious in God’s eyes. How amazing is that. Once I had a taste of that love, I had to have more. That is what has led me to healing. Wanting more of Jesus Christ and His all-consuming love.

There may be evil in this world, but nothing is bigger than the power of the Almighty. The devil may have infiltrated churches, or taken over an entire night to align people unwittingly with darkness, but that can never change the truth of who God is. He is the King, and in the end He will wear the Victor’s Crown. The devil can try as he might to corrupt God’s people, but behind the scenes God is working relentlessly to save us all. If it hadn’t been for Jesus, I would have been completely corrupted, and on my way to hell. Jesus protected my spirit, which is eternal, so it could be with Him forever.

As hard as knowing all this abuse has happened to me, and even reliving it through flashbacks, I am thankful for it all. If it hadn’t been for this abuse, I could not be here right now telling about it. Which means so many others who have endured this life of hell and had no idea why, would never see the hope that lies in their own freedom. It also means that so many people who have been held captive to the lies of the devil would never be awakened to the truth. And it also means that there is a hope that children can start to be saved from this horrible abuse that is happening to them, and lives can be saved. All of this is because of the hope and the love of Jesus Christ. I am so very thankful for that.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

Ephesians 5:11

I pray for each person reading this that you are absolutely burdened with the truth, but absolutely freed with complete hope in restoration. We have to start now to work together, to love each other and build each other up in order to spread God’s message of love. The devil wants to spread fear and hate, but we need to remember it was love that saved us. God’s love did not stop on the cross. God’s love is so powerful that it will redeem more hearts and minds than the devil can ever hope to corrupt. He is good, and the devil cannot stop that goodness from spreading like a wildfire throughout this world, not matter how bad things look. We just have to learn who to focus on. Jesus. He is the giver of life and hope and truth. We need to turn our eyes to Him and see where He is asking us to go, and then surrender ourselves just enough so we can begin to follow Him. No matter how hard it is.

Jesus is safe. He is trustworthy. He is patient and steadfast in abounding love. If He weren’t then I would be dead. Yet I am alive! I am alive in Christ and hopeful in salvation to the utmost ends of this earth. God is willing that none should perish, not even one. He is working my loves! He is working for you, and everyone you know, to bring them into the rightness of a relationship with the Father. He is working at drawing you near and offering you hope from your affliction. It is only through Jesus that we as people can begin to make drastic changes in this world and tear down every stronghold the devil has made. And it all starts with love.

Love yourself enough to allow God to speak into your heart right now, no matter how hard it seems, and let Him bring you the truth. He will never bring you to a place that is more than you can bear, and He will never violate you, ever. He is good. Open up to Him now, and hear His truth. Receive His love. Bask in His goodness. He is worthy it. All of it. I love you all. <3

For I desire loyalty and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

Hosea 6:6

October 3 2016

Seeing God As Father

fatherFor most of my life I have held a view of God as mean, distant, judging and condemning, harsh, cruel and hateful. It is the reason I hated Christianity so much. It was the reason I spent a season as an atheist, and it’s the reason I turned to witchcraft. The way we view God is a filter for how we view everything. If we see God as cruel, then we begin to see the world as a terrible place. If we see God as distant, then we begin to suffer in our relationships with others. If we see God as hateful, then we see ourselves as worthless. Everything we believe about God directly connects to what we believe about who we are, and how we behave.

There was a time when I knew God as a child. I had an intimate relationship with Him. I knew His goodness personally. But through many trials and tribulations, that was stolen from me by the hands of the Father of Lies. Thankfully God never abandons us, no matter how far we turn from Him. He never stops loving us and relentlessly pursuing us. God stood by me for years as I cursed His name and hated Him with every fiber of my soul. Yet my spirit knew. My spirit was connected to the Spirit of the Living God, and it always held hope for the return of that relationship I once had.

When I finally came into a place where I was ready to hear the true Gospel message and learn that God indeed did love me, not hate me, I had to start over again with my relationship with God. Or so I thought. I had no memory of every knowing Him, and so to me it felt as though it was a relationship just starting. That is until I saw my husband and son praying for a sign that God was real and getting answers, and I prayed for a sign and God clearly told me I did not need one. I was reminded of all the times I had been walking alone and yet knew there was someone watching me and protecting me. It was not gods and goddesses from my witchcraft beliefs, but it was God the Father Himself, with me every step of the way.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:31-32

The more I read the Bible and learned about God, the more I was in awe of Him. He was indeed the Creator of the universe and everything in it. He was a worker of miracles, a healer, and full of goodness. Yet I couldn’t shake the longing to please Him. I was sure that things that were going wrong were because I didn’t pray first and ask God. Everything became centered on doing what God wanted, being in God’s will, and pleasing Him. I started living my life centered around those thoughts and ideas of what would make God happy and how I could do right in His eyes. This is a very common belief for many Christians.

What I did not realize was I was really still operating out of beliefs that God is distant, harsh and condemning. Yes I loved God with all of my heart, but I was not only acting out of love, but out of fear. I was very full of fear, but treating fear as though it was obedience. There is no fear in love, so to obey out of fear is not in alignment with the heart of God. God is not worried about our obedience, He is worried about our relationship with Him, and our hearts.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

Everything we do flows out of our hearts. If our hearts believe that we need to obey because if we don’t it will make God mad or unhappy with us, then we are not seeing God for who He is. That makes God angry, not loving. That makes God’s love conditional, and based on our works and deeds. Yet the Bible makes it clear that we are not saved by our works, but saved out of the pure love and goodness of God. Why would God come in person to earth and live a human life and then die a convicted criminal, even though He was innocent, if He was going to turn around and continue to judge us and keep us at arm’s length?

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Psalm 4:23

What kind of love is that? That is human love, not the agape love that God is. There are not boundaries, no conditions with God’s love. God says, “you are mine, therefore I love you.” It is human love that keeps people at arm’s length, for fear of getting hurt. It is human love that says, you hurt me or disappointed me, now I must punish you.” We don’t know God, so we just start to fashion Him into the makings of what we already know. And what we know has been so tainted by the world, that we cannot possibly fathom the truth of who God is.

It is so easy to read the Bible and get it completely misconstrued. God is punishing and cruel, but Jesus is loving and kind. No. The Bible is a whole story, not two separate stories. The Bible is not just any story, it’s a love story. A story of the lengths that God was willing to go through to show us just how deeply He loves us. Yes, in the Old Testament God had to show us what sin is and how dangerous it is. He had to make examples of some people. Not because they were bad or He didn’t love them, but as a way to show us that sin leads to death, not to life.

We cling to sin as though it is our life boat and rescuer. We don’t even know any better. We walk through this world as though we are on a life boat all by ourselves, and we just keep trying to survive day by day. Yet God shows us with the Bible that as long as we keep doing that, we are going to suffer. So He came down personally from His throne in heaven and became a man, nothing special to anyone on this earth, just to show us that we were the most important thing to Him. Period. There is nothing more important to a Father than His children. Nothing.

“On the day when I act,” says the LORD Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him.

Malachi 3:17

It was not until I began doing inner healing that I began to know God in ways that I didn’t even know were possible. He began to slowly strip away everything I every believed about God. He began to show me that what I did believe was just based on my experiences with pain and rejection, and not based on my relationship with Him. It wasn’t until I began to heal the dark places inside of me, and allow Him in to bring His truth and light, that I was even able to hear anything God had to say about who He is. Everything was absolutely tainted by a filter of  pain and trauma.

I am no exception. Pain and trauma are par for the course for every human that ever exists. This world is filled with trials and tribulations, and no one is exempt from them. Even Jesus Himself had to walk through extreme pain and rejection. He knows what pain is, and has walked with each of us through it. Yet because we continue to try to float this life boat out here all alone, we cannot allow God in to bring His truth. We are so busy with surviving we don’t even realize we are doing it.

God as fatherRecently I have grown to new levels of intimacy and understand of God, I really starting a conversation with Him about what to call Him. God is such an impersonal name. It can be used for so many things. God is not a thing, He is a being, and a spirit, just as we are. He is our Father, and He is so full of love and compassion for us. We are just so stuck in our own pain and belief systems that we can’t even see that we are loved. We are too full of self contempt and fear to realize that the truth is that God loves us beyond comprehension. He sees us as valuable and worthy. He sees us as absolutely beautiful and precious.

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.

Isaiah 43:4

I wasn’t sure what else I could call God, yet I wasn’t exactly ready to call Him Father either. Father was such a foreign concept to me, especially being that I never had a close relationship with my own father. Dad or Daddy sounded even harder to come to grips with, because that is very intimate and really I felt vulnerable just thinking about it. How could I see myself as a little girl and God as a big strong Daddy? I have never even known that. I love my dad, but just like me, he is doing the best he can as a broken soul torn down by this world.

It has taken time and healing, but now I can easily call God Father. As a matter of fact, I refer to Him as Father more often than God. I have started to not see Him as “God” so much, which is so impersonal and distant really, and more as a father. As a father, He created me, He has protected me, provided for me, guided me, nurtured me, taught me, loved me. Those are all things fathers are designed to do. Fatherhood was invented by the first Father ever, our God. When other people call Him God, I think in my head, Father. It is beginning to get harder and harder to relegate Him to just God.

I am in no way taking away from the fact that God is God. He is, but are we really just keeping Him at arms length by calling Him God? It is so much safer to keep the Father at a distance, so we don’t get hurt. If we keep our relationship at just being obedient and doing right, we don’t have to do the work to get to know Him. And if we don’t have to do the work to have the intimacy, then we will never have to do the work on ourselves; healing those dark places that remain hidden within us.

I was very afraid to go to the dark places within me. I was ashamed and sure that God would hate me or be angry at me. Yet God knew of those places the entire time. He knew why they were there, and how deeply they were skewing the entire core of who He created me to be. He never looked down on me, no matter how bad things looked to me. He never was mad, not even for a second. Jesus Christ came in the flesh to become sin; our sin, so we no longer have to. If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you no longer have to stay afloat in the life boat all alone. If you take a chance to look up, you will see your loving Father has been with you all along.

“The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17