During those first few months of learning about Jesus, my husband and I also went through the Alpha Course. It was every Wednesday night at church, with one full Saturday session. On that Saturday session we were to learn all about the Holy Spirit. At the end of the day we were to say a prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to come in to us. The day was very interesting to me. I was intrigued to learn more about just who the Holy Spirit was. And to hear stories of phenomenal things happening to people when they received the Holy Spirit was exciting. I was ready to experience something amazing!
Alas, it wasn’t so for me. A lovely lady prayed with me and I invited the Holy Spirit in. And I felt nothing. And I mean nothing. I was sure I was broken – that there was something wrong with me. Why didn’t I feel something? I mean I didn’t really expect to start speaking tongues or fall on the floor laughing, but I did expect to feel something. I went home so disappointed. I was sure I was never going to really be a Christian, that I didn’t have a real relationship with God.
God has his own timing for things though. I still had so much to learn and understand. I was not even sure about the truth of the Bible, and if God was who it said He was. I mean, how could God have created the world in 7 days? That is impossible. I heard about Old Earth Creationism and felt that was probably where I would stand in my beliefs. The earth was actually millions of years old, and one day in the Bible was really an aeon. That meshed perfectly with what I always believed. Then there was that pesky Noah story. You know how God supposedly flooded the earth and wiped everyone out? Seriously. Unbelievable.
So I started doing some research. I had a lot of questions about the things the Bible says. Because if some of the Bible is unreal, then how do I know what of it is real? And if I can’t take God at His word, then what does that really mean in the scope of this whole Christianity thing I was learning about. I was surprised by the things that I began to learn. It opened up my mind to a whole new world. A world where God is so much more than I ever even imagined.
It all started with a video I stumbled on while on a forum. Not even a Christian forum, but a homeschooling forum. This video broke open my mind in relation to how I thought. I had some pretty serious barriers up against anything that wasn’t The Big Bang Theory or Darwinism. It led me to search for more information from the man who made the video. Then I began reading an article on the evidence for proof of the Bible. I was overwhelmed; amazed; awestruck.
As soon as I was done reading that article I got down on my knees and leaned over my couch in the living room. I distinctly remember really feeling the presence of God in that moment – and I knew it was Him. He was enveloping me in His love and it was the most wonderful feeling. I gave my life to Him right then and there. I knew in that moment it was all true – the Bible, creation, the flood. I knew the Bible was God’s word, divinely inspired and perfectly true. That this God was indeed the one and only true God, who made the heavens and the earth. Who made me.
I was swept away in His love. I told Him that I wanted to do His will, whatever it may be. Take my life, I give it to you freely. You are my God and I only want to make you happy, because I love you so. This was my Holy Spirit moment. The moment that I was coveting so desperately just a month before. I wouldn’t realize that until much later, but this was when I really opened up and took God at His word and accepted Him as my God and Savior. And that was when I was able to allow the Holy Spirit to come in and rain down upon my life. And boy did He ever!
From that moment forward my life became a veritable roller coaster ride. I had no idea what I was in for, but the Holy Spirit in my life gave me a new fullness and richness that I had never known possible.
And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:2
FYI – Here is a video of the same article I read.