Sexual Assault By Television

sexual assaultI have always been an avid fan of television. It goes all the way back to my childhood days when I would spend as many hours in front of the TV as I could. TV was my friend. It was always there, it never yelled at me or got mad at me. I relied on it. I could use it to escape the hell that was my life. And the only fond memories I have spending time with my father were watching TV. That was the only activity we ever did together. So TV was special to me in many ways. I never would have thought it was harming me in any way, and certainly not a sexual assault.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

1 Peter 2:9

I grew up pretty much watching whatever I wanted. My parents were not around very often. They were either at work or in the bedroom. So TV was my only company, as I had very strict rules surrounding me going out to play with friends. As I grew into adolescence we got cable TV. That means I had regular access to MTV and HBO. At that time MTV still played music videos, and music videos were full of sex, drugs and things of that nature. I was young and impressionable and these things intrigued me. I would fawn over the rock stars and plaster their pictures all over my bedroom walls. Can you say idol worship? I absolutely worshiped them all. I also would sneak in time watching soft porn on HBO late at night, when my parents were in their bedroom. I didn’t know it was porn, I just knew it intrigued me.

Family movies and kids movies are not what the same as they were when I was growing up. I recently tried to watch ‘Romancing the Stone’ with one of my older sons because it was the first movie we watched when we got a VCR in my childhood home. I was very excited to watch this with my son, as I had fond memories of watching it as a youth. You can imagine my surprise when the very first scene included a woman being sexually assaulted. Another time we popped on ‘Goonies’ because my husband loved it as a boy. Yet about 15 minutes in there was a scene revolving around a statue of David (he is naked) and the penis gets knocked off the statue and thrown around and glued back on. I was appalled to say the least.

It is very hard to look back on what I grew up with as a child, that seemed perfectly normal and innocent to me then, and realize that it was completely sexualized. They simply don’t show that type of stuff in children’s movies anymore. Or do they? No, I think they have just gotten better at hiding it. It is rare to find a kids movie that doesn’t have a love story in it, or slip in something with sexual undertones. Just take the short scene injected into ‘Frozen’ of the family all sitting together in the sauna. It flashes by so fast that you barely think about it. But it is there and it sends a message to your brain whether you register is consciously or not. It may not seem like a big deal, but it could be alluding to the man in the sauna being the gay partner of the sauna owner. If that is true, then it is subconsciously telling children that it is OK to have a same-sex relationship. I know in this day and age it seems very OK, but that is completely contrary to what God tells us a relationship is.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Another problem with this scene is, it appears that there are 3 young boys and a girl, who are only wearing towels. I don’t know about you, but I don’t hang out with my kids wearing nothing but a towel. We don’t know for certain that they aren’t wearing swimming suits, but after careful examination, I do not see any bathing suit straps on the girls shoulders. Again, subliminally it is sending a sexual message to children, that nudity is natural and a part of every day life. Sure it is when you are alone or with your spouse, but it is certainly not OK during family time. As I have learned more about sexual abuse, I have come to realize that it is much more than being raped or molested. It is not even limited to a physical act. It can also be related to things that are indirectly done to a person, including showing them sexually stimulating materials. So if that is true, then showing something of this nature to a young child becomes a little more serious, doesn’t it?

Three years ago when I became a Christian, we made some pretty major changes. I went from watching anything and everything to watching basically rated G movies and Christian movies. I found some great Christian cartoons for the kids, and we got rid of cable and Netflix as well. I was so sensitized by the Holy Spirit to violence, sex, cussing and things like that, I literally could not watch anything that I used to watch. I tried, believe me. Well, after over 2 years, we have burned through most of the Christian movies and cartoons. Sometimes you just want to zone out on a movie or show to get your mind off of life. For me it is a welcome respite from the healing work and memories that I get on a weekly basis. So slowly we have started to rent movies on our Roku that were PG-13 and yes even a couple of R movies. I have regretted a majority of them. I am not proud that I have fell into this trap, but at the same time I have gained some valuable information from watching them.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been watching a movie, one that does not promote itself to have any sexual content in it, and be suddenly assaulted by a scene of two people passionately making out or having sex. It really seems to come out of nowhere and I usually try to fast forward through it. For example, we were watching a show about a CIA agent. In one scene someone was looking through pictures in a camera they stole from a spy. As they were flipping through the photos they come to a picture of a closeup of a man’s penis. I could not believe it. I mean I was absolutely horrified. And for a survivor of sexual abuse, it was like a flashback into abuse. Do you think that Hollywood doesn’t know what it is doing? It absolutely has cruel intentions with scenes like this one.

For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.

1 Thessalonians 4:7

It is completely irrelevant to have a man’s penis in this movie, yet somehow they managed to slip it in. Many, many movies manage to do this. What is the message we are being sent? First of all, no matter what you want to happen, you are being sexually aroused by pornographic images or watching two people simulate sex (even under the covers). God created us to be aroused by sex. It is a perfectly normal and God-given response. That is how a man and a woman are driven to procreate and therefore keep the population growing. We cannot change how God made us, but when we get unexpectedly aroused, we then often become ashamed. And if we don’t feel shame at being suddenly exposed to sexual images, then we let our arousal excite and stimulate us. Either way, when you are suddenly put in a situation where you are exposed to this sexual content, it is sexual assault. You are being forcefully engaged into a sexual act without your consent. Even if you see only seconds worth and then stop it, you are still being engaged during that short time into a sexual act.

The shame or excitement we feel at the sudden arousal of these images is so strong and unexpected that we aren’t quite sure what to do with them. So we either push them away in an attempt to hide them, or we try to normalize them. If a man is aroused by these things, it is “perfectly normal”, because men are nothing but sexual creatures. They are supposed to be “like dogs” and “always horny”. At least that is what society leads us to believe. However, that is not God’s Truth. God has created men to be leaders in the world, spiritual heads of the house, and examples of the love of Christ to those around them. Nowhere does the Bible describe man, who was created in God’s image, as a sexual being. This is another way to try to derail men from who God has made them to be.

We are not sexual beings. We are human beings. Sex is a natural drive within us, but it should not define us. We were not created to have sex, but to love.  Sex is a beautiful expression of love and desire between two people. It can be an example to use of the love God has. Not a sexual love, but the passion and love and pleasure we feel, are all gifts from God to us, because He desires for us to feel them. They are not wrong or shameful feelings. Yet in this world where we are almost daily assaulted by sexual images, we are led to believe that sex something dirty, shameful and to be treated casually. It can be done between anyone, anytime, and in front of anyone, and that is what is normal.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

The question that this leads me too is what is the drive within us to continue to watch shows and movies when we know that we are going to continually be assaulted by sexual imagery and worse. Have we created that much denial that we can really bypass these things as normal? Have we created a new standard for our Christian values which include being a third-party to other’s sexual relations? Have we decided that voyeurism is now something perfectly acceptable as long as we do it in the comfort of our homes or a darkened theater?

sunset-585334_1920It is quite possible to raise the bar of what you expose yourself to for entertainment. There are tons of wonderful Christian movies and shows for children. Pureflix is my favorite streaming channel, and Dove Channel is a close second. Yet I laxed on my vigilance of staying true to what I knew was going to help keep my mind pure and safe. So what was the draw, because I am sure it is not just me that has been lured away from good Christian content by the charms of wordly shows. All it took was letting one inappropriate movie in, and then over time another, then another. Within 6 months we had Netflix again, which is a gateway to all kinds of evils.

It is very hard to have Netflix or even cable TV and not get sucked into sin. The reality is most TV shows have content against what is true, noble or pure. Yet these are the things God has told us to think on. We are to meditate on His word, not medicate on TV. Yet we do. God does not condemn you for watching these shows, but I do believe He wants to give us a wake up call to things we are being exposed to by watching them. Things much deeper than we even consciously realize. God does not warn us because He is an angry God, He warns us because He wants to protect us. Yet we run and hide from Him, because we are embarrassed at our sin, just as Adam and Eve did. The devil means for us to be so swept up in sin that we hide from God, and therefore His loving embrace. If we are too ashamed to face Him and bring our sin to the light, how can He help us conquer it?

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

The fact of the matter is, the devil has his hands everywhere he can get them. Hollywood is one of the most obvious places he rules over. Protecting ourselves doesn’t mean hiding away from everything potentially bad. That would not give us discernment and wisdom about where danger lies. Protecting ourselves starts with resting in Jesus Christ and holding true to what the word of God says. It means asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance in everything we do. It means trusting God to protect us and help steer us away from things that can cause us spiritual or emotional harm, even when they are more tempting than the fruit in the Garden of Eden. God loves you. He wants the best for you, and for your family. He wants to bless you and bring you up into the call He has for you in this world. We need to stop letting the lies of the world distract us, and get down to what is important: Jesus Christ.

Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

10 comments

  1. Angie

    Very good article. This year, I have dropped a lot of what I used to watch and play with certain video games, although the main shift has been to stay away from horror. Earlier this year I read your post about horror movies and shows, and that coupled with my own experience of dreams/attacks I would have after watching them made me step away from the genre entirely, whereas before it was a favorite. Though I haven’t consciously set out to avoid sexual content shows, I pretty much have. Everything I’ve been watching is pretty tame. And I feel better, safer for these changes. Also, I know what you mean about kids shows sneaking stuff in. Disney is known to do that, and Frozen especially seems to be a major brainwash movie for very young kids. Every toddler I have met in the past few years seemed to be totally obsessed with that movie. I want nothing to do with Disney anymore. They are a huge deciever, not to mention their abuse of their child stars.

    Although I didn’t fully become aware of the dangers of horror until this year, I think my discernment began about a year and a half ago. I was watching the third season of American Horror Story, and with all the bizarre blatant sex stuff, I felt it to be satanic and stopped watching it and got rid of it.

  2. John Cummings

    You are so right on. We don’t (haven’t) watch tv (for seven or eight years)…unless a Nebraska football game is on!!..don’t see how people have time to watch if they’re very busy people. Especially if they want to keep the crud out of their lives.

  3. Michelle Davidson

    Great article. I too was sucked into so many of these shows when I was a kids.
    We recently found Vid Angel so we can watch the childhood favorites, but we can turn on filters for the vulgarity and sexual scenes and even kissing!
    I don’t care if it shortens some movies, it keeps my family safer than Redbox.
    We have to be careful what we listen to and see.

    I am having some hesitations with Disney also. My kids love the theme parks but I do feel that there are some satanic undertones being snuck in- which is true with everything in the world.

  4. Pamela

    Ok…I just recently shared the exact reaction to a revisitation of Goonies into our home via my husband and his sentimental journey back in the eighties. I knew it would be bad, but not that bad! I was horrified to watch this in mixed company and I am no prude! We also bought old sitcoms for the same sentimental reason, but they are full of sex and talk of Planned Parenthood as a common good, etc. films created by the world as usually offensive in some way. Thanks for your article that made me realize I am not the only one having a stroke over what was once thought innocent kids flicks. God bless!

    1. Alanda

      Good question. I will look for the blogpost; in the meantime let’s compare everything to God’s character and hold onto the good. Also, thanks for this awesome blog! Thanks for sharing your testimony.

  5. Stacie

    I feel embarrassed when I see Victoria’s Secret commercials and I never realized that is a sexual assault to me, because I don’t want to see that! I’m not a willing participant in seeing those women in their underwear and they force it in my face. I always turn the channel as soon as it comes on, but by then it’s really too late, because I see it and I know what it is. Same goes for women showing their cleavage on TV. We were watching AGT last week and Mel B. Had so much cleavage showing that it was also embarrassing to me. I don’t want to see that. That’s supposed to be a family show, but it’s not appropriate sometimes. I felt like she assaulted me by showing that because I don’t want to see that! I remember as a child watching PG-13 movies in the 80’s that should be considered rated R now. I’ve tried to watch older “kids” movies with my kids too and saw that they were not appropriate. There is so much evil in Hollywood movies to pump into our children’s minds, we have to be vigilant about everything. It’s really sad but it’s just showing the true nature of our world. Evil is abundant but we must remember that God’s grace is more.

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