As I write this, it is officially 2017. We have moved into a new year and a new time of anointing on God’s people. Everywhere I look I see confirmation that this new year is going to bring many mighty works of God’s people for His Kingdom, and I am so excited! Last year was quite difficult for me. I got very deeply into my inner healing where I began to learn some terrifying truths of my life. I was actually raised in the occult and was subject to countless satanic rituals and other horrific abuse.
It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with this as my reality. My whole life I knew things were bad, but I always got by in telling myself that a lot of people had it worse than I had. When I began feeling suicidal at 13, a feeling that persisted throughout most of my life, I had no idea why I wanted to die so badly. I just knew that there was more pain in my heart than I could bear any longer and I wanted out of this terrible world.
As I began to go through my weekly inner healing sessions, the pieces of my life began to come together. I slowly began to make sense of the fact that I could not remember most of my childhood, or what happened to my favorite teddy bear that suddenly disappeared, or why I couldn’t stop fantasizing about death, and why I was so attracted to darkness and witchcraft. However, I also came into some major revelations about the heart of the Father. And oh how magnificent they are.
Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!
God has used every bit of my healing to bring me deeper and further into the truth of who He is. He is so good. He is loving, and kind, and patient. I have done terrible things during these satanic rituals. Things I had no choice but to do. I have accepted rights, agreements, gifts, and demons into my very being, time and time again. I felt dirty, ugly, evil, terrible, and more. I knew in my heart I was irredeemable and unforgivable in the eyes of God. I was ashamed and full of self hatred for what I had done. But my Father told me time and time again, I was beautiful, perfect, completely redeemed and forgiven. Beloved.
I have cried a thousand tears as I felt the shame and hatred, and then the love and awe wash over me. How can someone as terrible as me, possibly be loved by God? One by one, God has torn down so many strongholds within me, keeping me in bondage through lies and false belief systems. I truly believed that God too was terrible and evil, mean, cruel, judgmental, hateful. Many places inside my soul that were created for this purpose have been tore asunder and restored into who God designed me to be.
I am not saying I am done with healing. As a matter of fact I actually have a long way to go. When you have gone through the extremes that I have, healing is a long process and journey. I am OK with that. Each person has their own path into healing and freedom, and it is going to be different. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it just matters that you are willing to do the work. If you want to come out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, you have to be willing to do the work.
But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.
When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they were willing to do the initial work to leave, and after that they wanted to continually give up and go back to their oppression. That is where many people get stuck. They are willing to take some initial steps into healing and freedom, but when the journey gets difficult and the road takes turns they weren’t expecting, they abandon the journey altogether and go back to captivity. It is easy to live in captivity, when it is all you have known your whole life.
However, if this is true, then you are not living on the feast of the Word of God. You are living by sight and feelings, which are completely unreliable. The devil has spent years working to twist the truth into something that looks right, but is completely false. Just like he did in the Garden of Eden. If the devil can get you to believe his lies about God, no matter how small they may seem, he has accomplished a great work within you.
The work I have been doing in healing has been incredibly hard. There have been many times I wanted to give up, or run away from it all. Who wants this as their reality? Yet through it all God has given me many promises. He has promised to escalate my healing and bring forth my testimony to the world, and He has done so. He has given me many more promises and insight that I cling to, knowing that my Father never goes back on His word. He has given me divine truths that are sweeter than honey in my mouth. All this has made my journey completely worthwhile.
I know there are many people out there asking, what is the next step for me? They feel so lost, so alone, and so scared. I understand, because I have been there, standing on the shore, waiting for hope to come rescue me. However, all I could see was a dark cloud looming over me, keeping me from seeing the light that was stretching beyond the shore and into eternity. It was all I could perceive, and therefore all I believed.
It is time to take a leap of faith my beloveds. It is time to dive deeply into the truth of who God is, and start combating the lies of the enemy that have become so prevalent in your soul. When we have more of us aligned with the truths of the Kingdom of Darkness than God’s Kingdom, then we are not going to be able to see the truth of who God is, or who we are. We are all mighty Kingdom Warriors. We are all anointed for a purpose here on this earth. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High God. This are truths from God’s very Word. We need to begin feasting on these truths, day and night, until we can begin to see a break in the clouds and know that our Redeemer is already here.
It is not easy to leave the land of Egypt. Her ways are seductive and powerful, and we feel helpless to untangle ourselves from this huge mess we blame ourselves or God for. Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing. He is the maker of the heavens and the earth. He created all people and all things. Through Him, everything was made, for a purpose, and it is good. Yes there is evil in this world, but it did not come from the hand of God. It came from the work of sin and rebellion and witchcraft, that we have each willingly taken part in.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:18
Why would God make a people who would eventually turn on Him, and blame Him for all their mistakes? Love. God is love and I pray everyone has a revelation of even a fraction of His love. God knew exactly what would happen, and He created us anyway. Because His love is so vast, so deep and so long, that He cannot help but love us. No matter what. No matter what you have done. No matter who you are. Jesus loves you.
Jesus is the Light of the World, and He wants to bring that light into your heart. He is patient; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will never leave you nor abandon you. He is with you always, even until the end of time. So He will walk with you through your process. He will bring you to where you need to go. He will stand with you when you face many trials, and He will carry you when you fall, broken.
I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the Lord.
Jesus is good. Trust in Him, and trust in His words. Get into the Word of God today and highlight every place where it talks about the patient, loving, kind nature of God. Highlight every place where it says He is with us, protects us, strengthens us, never leaves us, and the many other promises. Meditate on them day and night. Feed your dry and barren soul with these truths. That is your next step. Then let Jesus take care of the rest.
God knows where you are. He knows where you need to go, and when you need to leave. He is going to take you there. Trust in Jesus, not in self. Trust that Jesus is leading the way and then just follow. You can do this, because the strength of God and the Light of Christ reside inside of you. I love you all.
The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.