January 30 2017

Manifesting Spiritual Gifts From God

This past weekend I had the most incredible experience at an equipping session for those working in the prophetic. I have never been to anything like it, as truly God Himself has been training me in everything I do for the past three and a half years. I was very excited to go with a dear friend, who too has similar spiritual gifts as I do. I had no idea what to expect, but what I did not expect was to be blessed beyond measure.

Being in a prophetic community was absolutely wonderful. God poured out His Spirit over me, over and over again, lifting me into a place of such deep awe for my loving Father. How God could treat me in such a special way is honestly beyond me, but He proved that I am indeed loved. How does a woman who has spent her whole life living in shame and worthlessness take such declarations of love from God? With a lost of tears and appreciation.

One of the best parts about being in a community where the gifts of the Spirit are encouraged and freely used is not feeling so unusual and alone. For me, my gifts are very strong and not something that I control. I get visions, prophecy, and discernment every day, and it is just a part of who I am. It is so much a part of who I am that before this weekend I could not tell you when I was pouring out prophecy and when I was discerning spirits. It just all flows together so naturally to me that there is not differentiating.

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

1 Corinthians 12:7

I believe there are many people out there who are walking with wonderful gifts from the Holy Spirit, but do not realize they are doing so. They are not in a community that can help foster those gifts or teach them how to use them. They may even be in a community that is against them, and therefore don’t even realize what these gifts look like or how they work. The Holy Spirit has given each one of us good gifts to use as He determines. These gifts are meant for the good of the whole body, and to be used to help others.

I have walked strongly in all of my gifts since I was a very young child. However, the environment I grew up in was one that had absolute hatred towards those gifts. I grew to believe that my gifts meant I was crazy, evil, bad and more, and so I tried very hard not to use them. I was greatly punished for using them, because they were clearly a gift of God. Those who are enemies of God will always try to impede gifts of the Spirit, because they further the mighty work for the Kingdom.

It was not until I began truly giving my life over to Christ, every part of my being that I possible could, that I began to see the fruit of these gifts again. It was not that they were gone or lost; I don’t believe that ever happens. It was that I was too afraid to allow them to manifest into full power in my life. The devil instilled that fear into me, just as he has into many areas of the church. Many Christians are told and believe that all of the gifts of the Holy Spirit are dead and gone. As a matter of fact, I have even been told that if you use these gifts you are actually partnering with the devil.

Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy.

1 Corinthians 14:1

Of course the devil wants us to believe that. He wants nothing more than to stomp out these amazing gifts that bring healing, grace, edification, encouragement, and so much more, not only to ourselves, but to the entire body. When one person walks with the Spirit of God freely, it empowers those around to do the same. We should not live in fear, but have courage to follow Jesus unhindered. We need to do this, because the world is desperate for the signs, wonders, and miracles that these gifts bring to this dark world.

I know a lot of people wonder how they can tell if they have a gift, or if they have a gift how to use it. My best advice really is just Jesus. Jesus is the one who can teach us and guide is in every single question. We know from 1 Corinthians 12 that every believer will receive spiritual gifts, so my presumption is that you most likely already have one. In order to truly understand the spiritual gifts that we have and how to use them best, we need to go to Jesus. If He feels we need outside resources to learn and grow, He will surely lead us right to them. We must have faith.

I have been walking in my spiritual gifts as a Christian for almost 4 years now, but it has taken this long to get a grasp and understanding of these gifts, what they are, and why I even have them. All of this knowledge has only come from the Holy Spirit Himself. Reading books and articles and watching videos or listening to speakers is great, but it is only walking with Jesus, asking Him the hard questions, and leaning on Him for guidance that has truly led me to growth and understanding.

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit–the Father will send Him in My name–will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you.

John 14:26

The Apostle make makes it clear that every believer should desire to speak in tongues and to prophecy. This means that every believer has the ability to speak in tongues and to prophecy. These are spiritual gifts that freely flow through the Holy Spirit to each one of us. Speaking in tongues does not necessarily mean delivering a message in tongues, but more likely praying in tongues. Praying in tongues is using tongues as a personal prayer language. This allows you to connect with God on a deeper level when you have no words, or it is a powerful weapon when you are in a bad place. Praying in tongues edifies your spirit man, as well as others you pray for.

Prophecy is used to edify the church as well as other believers. Prophecy does not necessarily mean predicting the future, and it should never be used as a means of divination. Prophecy is a wonderful gift that should be used to build an atmosphere of hope and brings revival in the hearts of those that hear it. We need to always be very careful when giving messages as well as receiving them, because many people with good intentions have brought curses on others with their false prophecies. False prophecies are a result of being connected with the wrong spirit, who yearns to deceive and bring down the elect.

While we should all strive for spiritual gifts, we should never try to force them. They should flow out of a deep connection with our Father, not because we want to make them happen. While I wholly agree we should all walk in the gifts of the Spirit, I also believe that we may need to walk through deliverance to relieve oppression or strongholds that are hindering our abilities. This is also very important because, as I mentioned before, if we do not clean our houses (deliverance), then we could be harnessing powers of the Second Heaven , which is the Kingdom of Darkness. This does not mean we are bad or evil, it simply means we need to go deep into our souls to break away any ties that are harmful to us, and others.

I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
    your old men will dream dreams,
    your young men will see visions.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
    I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

Joel 2:28-29

spiritual giftsDuring my weekend equipping session I witnessed believers who were connecting to the Second Heaven through their God given spiritual gifts. I saw a woman who used painting as a form of worship. She was incredibly talented, but during each session I saw her painting things of a very disturbing nature, things that were of a spiritual nature, only seen with the spiritual eyes. I also saw a worship singer who was lacking confidence and channeling the power of Second Heaven to bring in a soulish form of worship. He too was very talented in his God given gifts, but he did not realize that he was tapping in to the Holy Spirit and the Second Heaven at the same time.

Each of these individuals is loved and important to God. He does not look down on them for what they are doing, but instead He understands exactly why they do this. He loves their worship, because truly their spirits are worshiping God, even though their souls are not. God has a purpose and plan for us all. He uses all these things for our good. I fully believe that He wants us to all come into greater levels of healing so we can come to know Him more intimately. We just have to be willing to look at the dark places inside of us that He has allowed to remain hidden for our own good.

God knows the perfect timing in which everything in our lives needs to happen. He is not worried, and we should not worry either. Wherever we are with our spiritual gifts, God is there with us. We need only continue to lay out our hearts to Him, even if it means just giving Jesus one piece at a time. That is exactly what I am doing. I am far from perfect, and I am very thankful that God loves me exactly where I am right now. And I am very thankful that my desire to use spiritual gifts in His Kingdom has brought about a closer relationship with Jesus, that has helped me to bear good fruit for Him.

I pray we all allow our desire for spiritual gifts to bring us to greater revelations of who God is, His great love for us, and a greater love for each other. I pray that each of us begins to walk with the Spirit, in Truth and in love, allowing the Holy Spirit to mold and shape us into who He originally designed us to be. I pray that through this we create revival fires everywhere we go, setting the peoples of this earth on fire for more of Jesus Christ. Bless you, my dearest brothers and sisters.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7




January 9 2017

2017: A Year of Healing and Restoration

healingAs I write this, it is officially 2017. We have moved into a new year and a new time of anointing on God’s people. Everywhere I look I see confirmation that this new year is going to bring many mighty works of God’s people for His Kingdom, and I am so excited! Last year was quite difficult for me. I got very deeply into my inner healing where I began to learn some terrifying truths of my life. I was actually raised in the occult and was subject to countless satanic rituals and other horrific abuse.

It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with this as my reality. My whole life I knew things were bad, but I always got by in telling myself that a lot of people had it worse than I had. When I began feeling suicidal at 13, a feeling that persisted throughout most of my life, I had no idea why I wanted to die so badly. I just knew that there was more pain in my heart than I could bear any longer and I wanted out of this terrible world.

As I began to go through my weekly inner healing sessions, the pieces of my life began to come together. I slowly began to make sense of the fact that I could not remember most of my childhood, or what happened to my favorite teddy bear that suddenly disappeared, or why I couldn’t stop fantasizing about death, and why I was so attracted to darkness and witchcraft. However, I also came into some major revelations about the heart of the Father. And oh how magnificent they are.

Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 106:1

God has used every bit of my healing to bring me deeper and further into the truth of who He is. He is so good. He is loving, and kind, and patient. I have done terrible things during these satanic rituals. Things I had no choice but to do. I have accepted rights, agreements, gifts, and demons into my very being, time and time again. I felt dirty, ugly, evil, terrible, and more. I knew in my heart I was irredeemable and unforgivable in the eyes of God. I was ashamed and full of self hatred for what I had done. But my Father told me time and time again, I was beautiful, perfect, completely redeemed and forgiven. Beloved.

I have cried a thousand tears as I felt the shame and hatred, and then the love and awe wash over me. How can someone as terrible as me, possibly be loved by God? One by one, God has torn down so many strongholds within me, keeping me in bondage through lies and false belief systems. I truly believed that God too was terrible and evil, mean, cruel, judgmental, hateful. Many places inside my soul that were created for this purpose have been tore asunder and restored into who God designed me to be.

I am not saying I am done with healing. As a matter of fact I actually have a long way to go. When you have gone through the extremes that I have, healing is a long process and journey. I am OK with that. Each person has their own path into healing and freedom, and it is going to be different. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it just matters that you are willing to do the work. If you want to come out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, you have to be willing to do the work.

But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.

Exodus 13:18

When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they were willing to do the initial work to leave, and after that they wanted to continually give up and go back to their oppression. That is where many people get stuck. They are willing to take some initial steps into healing and freedom, but when the journey gets difficult and the road takes turns they weren’t expecting, they abandon the journey altogether and go back to captivity. It is easy to live in captivity, when it is all you have known your whole life.

However, if this is true, then you are not living on the feast of the Word of God. You are living by sight and feelings, which are completely unreliable. The devil has spent years working to twist the truth into something that looks right, but is completely false. Just like he did in the Garden of Eden. If the devil can get you to believe his lies about God, no matter how small they may seem, he has accomplished a great work within you.

The work I have been doing in healing has been incredibly hard. There have been many times I wanted to give up, or run away from it all. Who wants this as their reality? Yet through it all God has given me many promises. He has promised to escalate my healing and bring forth my testimony to the world, and He has done so. He has given me many more promises and insight that I cling to, knowing that my Father never goes back on His word. He has given me divine truths that are sweeter than honey in my mouth. All this has made my journey completely worthwhile.


I know there are many people out there asking, what is the next step for me? They feel so lost, so alone, and so scared. I understand, because I have been there, standing on the shore, waiting for hope to come rescue me. However, all I could see was a dark cloud looming over me, keeping me from seeing the light that was stretching beyond the shore and into eternity. It was all I could perceive, and therefore all I believed.

It is time to take a leap of faith my beloveds. It is time to dive deeply into the truth of who God is, and start combating the lies of the enemy that have become so prevalent in your soul. When we have more of us aligned with the truths of the Kingdom of Darkness than God’s Kingdom, then we are not going to be able to see the truth of who God is, or who we are. We are all mighty Kingdom Warriors. We are all anointed for a purpose here on this earth. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High God. This are truths from God’s very Word. We need to begin feasting on these truths, day and night, until we can begin to see a break in the clouds and know that our Redeemer is already here.

It is not easy to leave the land of Egypt. Her ways are seductive and powerful, and we feel helpless to untangle ourselves from this huge mess we blame ourselves or God for. Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing. He is the maker of the heavens and the earth. He created all people and all things. Through Him, everything was made, for a purpose, and it is good. Yes there is evil in this world, but it did not come from the hand of God. It came from the work of sin and rebellion and witchcraft, that we have each willingly taken part in.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:18

Why would God make a people who would eventually turn on Him, and blame Him for all their mistakes? Love. God is love and I pray everyone has a revelation of even a fraction of His love. God knew exactly what would happen, and He created us anyway. Because His love is so vast, so deep and so long, that He cannot help but love us. No matter what. No matter what you have done. No matter who you are. Jesus loves you.

Jesus is the Light of the World, and He wants to bring that light into your heart. He is patient; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will never leave you nor abandon you. He is with you always, even until the end of time. So He will walk with you through your process. He will bring you to where you need to go. He will stand with you when you face many trials, and He will carry you when you fall, broken.

I will betroth you to me forever;
    I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
    in love and compassion.
 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
    and you will acknowledge the Lord.

Hosea 2:19-20

Jesus is good. Trust in Him, and trust in His words. Get into the Word of God today and highlight every place where it talks about the patient, loving, kind nature of God. Highlight every place where it says He is with us, protects us, strengthens us, never leaves us, and the many other promises. Meditate on them day and night. Feed your dry and barren soul with these truths. That is your next step. Then let Jesus take care of the rest.

God knows where you are. He knows where you need to go, and when you need to leave. He is going to take you there. Trust in Jesus, not in self. Trust that Jesus is leading the way and then just follow. You can do this, because the strength of God and the Light of Christ reside inside of you. I love you all.

The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

June 6 2016

Surrendering To Pain

painToday I feel like a outpatient that has just gone through major surgery. On the outside I may appear normal (although I am doubtful of that), but on the inside I have just gone under the microscope and had tumors removed from my soul by the hand of Jesus Christ. That may sound like a strange phenomena, but that is exactly what I go through, every week. Some weeks the surgery is fairly easy and I get out with a short recovery time. and little pain. Other weeks I need to be quiet and rest, letting the procedure take hold in the depths of who I am. Recovery takes longer because the pain was more intense.

What is this surgery you ask, and how can it possibly be good for me? Well these weekly procedures are what I like to call “inner healing“. I started my journey into inner healing last spring. It actually started with just a wonderful Biblical prayer counselor, but then that abruptly ended because God had bigger plans for my healing. The Biblical prayer counseling helped me to get an understanding of the anger I had been dealing with for my whole life. What I learned is that anger, as well as anxiety, fear, bitterness, depression, and other related feelings, are a secondary emotion to pain. Pain is the root of all feelings outside of the love and joy God has created us to have.

Pain is a sneaky little thing really. It always seems to hit you out of nowhere, blindsiding you and then leaving a mess in the wake of it. You are left looking around you wondering what happened and how did you end up on the floor? Most of the time when pain comes we are so unprepared we have no idea how to deal with it. It is a very messy and ugly feeling, and makes us feel powerless and ashamed of our weakness. Yet instead of reaching out to Jesus, the conqueror of death and hell, we usually shove that pain right back in where it came from, so we can just try to get back up and move on with life. What we don’t realize is that pain comes for a reason, and no matter how bad it feels, Jesus will still work it for our good, if we just allow Him to do so.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

What really is the point of pain, you might ask. Pain is a place to meet the grace and love of God. It is a place where the enemy works very hard to get you, because he believes it is in that place he can destroy you. That is not the point of view God takes, however. God sees us in the midst of this pain, and He sees a sweet and beloved child who needs Him desperately. Yet when He begins to reach down to lend a hand out of the pit, we ignore it in favor of climbing out on our own. We need to feel self-sufficient and capable because the world tells us that we are worthless otherwise. Only the weak and pathetic sit in pain, the devil tells us. Wrong. It takes immense strength and resilience to sit in the pain and call on the name of Jesus to bring healing to it.

When I first started my inner healing sessions, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was surrendering to God’s will, but I had no idea He was about to uncover a mass of memories that had been suppressed for my entire life. He started off small, letting me learn more about who I am in Christ. He also started to reveal places of pain that I was already aware of, yet had tried to suppress. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t that difficult either. Really, I was just dipping my toes into tepid water at that point.

The real difficulty came just a couple of months in. The sessions always start of with prayer, and giving everything over to the will of the Holy Spirit to do what He knows needs to be done. Every person can handle what they can, and God knows what those things are. God had been building me up in strength for a very long time, I just had no idea. I had finally come to this place in time where the healing could begin. The funny thing is, healing never feels like healing. It feels like when you break a bone and it heals incorrectly, then it has to be broken again to heal correctly. Pain upon pain. Then you have the time it takes to wait for the complete healing and restoration of the bone. It takes time, patience and effort on your part to take care of yourself through the healing process. Sounds like a blast right? Of course not. But joy will still abound, when you rest in the faith of Jesus Christ.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13

When the memories come, they often come in slowly, one thing at a time. I am in a darkened room. It is a small room, with no windows. It is cold and lifeless and scary, lit by candles. There are three men in black robes, and my grandmother. I am chained to the wall. I am only about 2 years old. I am scared out of my mind. Why would my grandmother bring me to this awful place? At this point, I did not even know where I actually was, which was at the Mormon church. Over time I would be very familiar with this room.

The men are chanting. They are calling upon evil spirits, and channeling them. I am being molested by my own grandmother. It is terrifying to me. Yet it is not the first time she has molested me, I just don’t remember it at that time. The men are calling upon spirits of evil because they want to channel them into me. The sexual stimulation is for the purpose of filling me with fear and pain, so that I will be open to receive what they have to offer. I can see what is happening around me, yet I can hardly comprehend.

It was very hard to see this memory, as I had no idea, and I mean no idea, that I had ever experienced anything of this nature in my life. I am in shock as the Holy Spirit recalls it to my memory, piece by piece. Yet it is real. How can it be. How? Yet there is some hope in the memory. Before the man who has channeled the demon can summon it upon me, a strong gust of wind blows through the room. It is an impossible wind, in a room with no windows. Yet it blows so fiercely that the candles go out and the man is knocked to the ground. The demon spirit is chased away by the power of it. It was the Holy Spirit. The men are filled with fear, and my grandmother is enraged. The spirit is gone and will not come back this time, so the ritual must end. For now.

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:6-7

The man scrambles off the floor as another relights the candles. I don’t understand what is happening, but I do know the presence of God when I feel it. I had already been in communication with God; already had talked with Him personally even at this tender young age. For some all this sounds impossible, and improbable. I wish it was. Yet in this world the devil has a foothold so deep that he has convinced us that he does not even exist. I am not alone in these experiences. There are many just like me. Yet they do not remember. They cannot remember. To remember without the Holy Spirit is virtually impossible, and to attempt to do so could send someone to insanity.

It is extremely dangerous to attempt to recover any memories of abuse without the help of God. He has to be the one to reveal them when He knows you are ready. Once He reveals them He shows you how they affected your beliefs and the way you see God and the world. He then removes the impact of what has been done to your soul through the moments He shows you. He brings you healing and begins to redeem what was bad, trading it for something good. This could never be done without God. The part He plays in this is vital and essential.

This was the first ritual I that I become aware of. It is like a horror movie has come true, and I am the star. Yet the fact that I feel it is unreal and a horror movie speaks volumes about what this experience has taught me. It has taught me that the world is evil, nowhere is safe, the devil has control, and more things of that nature. Yet I still hung on to the hope of God in that moment. I still clung to Him desperately. That would change eventually though, as they realized the power of God that was already inside of me.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

1 John 4:4

child-running-1082102_1920I do not think I am special. I do not think my experiences or abuse is worse than anyone else. Abuse in itself is traumatic and rips apart the fabric of your soul, no matter what the abuse is. It is evil in its nature, and it’s intent is to tear you down, so the devil can build you back up, just as he wants you to be. Weak, afraid, and susceptible to his viewpoints of life. That is why it is imperative to follow Jesus into the pain. The pain wants to control us and hold us down, but God wants to use it to teach us, to empower us, to strengthen us, and to build us in our identity in Christ. I have not wanted to know these bad things that have happened to me. Not once. They only get worse from here, every single time.

Yet I have continued for 9 months, and I have no idea when I’ll be done. Do I consider myself strong? Not by a long shot. But because I have trusted in God, even just a tiny bit, I have been willing to walk through this with Him. His mighty right hand has uplifted me, and strengthened me, just enough to get through each day. I have wanted to die. I have begged God to take me home, because I am done with this life. It has been harsh, cruel, and a living hell. But God says He wants me here, if I can just keep hanging on. He has promised to redeem it all, and give me something beautiful in return. I honestly have no idea how that is possible, but I have heard that nothing is impossible with God. So I chose to remind myself of that promise, even if it is hard to believe. So far He has been faithful and True to His word to me. So I keep fighting the good fight.

And you can too. I know you are not me, but you are here because you know you have pain and you know you are hiding from it. So I just want to give you encouraging words. If I can do this, I am most certain you can, because Jesus can. And if Jesus can, anyone who trusts in Him can. Do you trust Him, even just a tiny bit? Ok. Then my beautiful sweet friend, you can.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

1 Peter 4:12-13

July 27 2015

The Gift of Discerning Spirits

discerning spiritsWhen I was a child I had a deathly fear of the dark. I was sure that something was going to get me. I know there are many children who are afraid of the dark, but this was an intense fear. I was so afraid that something was waiting to get me, that I could not go to sleep unless I was under the covers and in the middle of the bed. It would get to be over 100 degrees in the summer and I did not have air conditioning in my room. I would suffer through the heat of having the blanket on me, because it was the only thing separating me from certain evil.

I did eventually get over that fear of the dark as I got older, although it did last into my teen years. Once I did get over it I rarely thought back to that time. That is until about a year ago when suddenly I developed an intense fear of the dark again. It was at this same time that I was discovering my gift of discerning spirits. It only took me about a week to realize the connection between that childhood fear and my gift of discerning spirits.

Discerning spirits is one of the amazing gifts of the Holy Spirit. A person who has the gift of discerning spirits is able to either sense or see things in the spirit realm. That means that they can sense or see demons and angels. A person with discerning spirits can also get insight and information about spiritual things affecting other people, such as if they are oppressed or have a demonic influence in or around their person. This gift also comes with a strong desire to cast out the demonic spirits and free them from oppression. This gift flows out of a healthy relationship with the Holy Spirit, and is not something done in one’s own power.

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:13

As I began to discover my gift of discerning spirits I would notice different physical reactions when a demon or evil spirit was present. I would feel sick in the stomach, and shaky even though I wasn’t cold, fear and a revulsion. So when I began to have the fear of the dark again, I realized I was getting the same physical sensations as when I would sense a demon. It was a huge revelation for me, because I realized I had this gift since I was a child. I was not just afraid of the dark, I was actually sensing the presence of demons in my room.

For some the thought of sensing demons sounds very scary. I have to admit the first few times it happened to me I was scared. I really didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t understand how I knew there were demons there in my friend’s house. I only knew that once I did realize I was sensing an evil spirit that I wanted to get rid of it! And really, that is the fun part. You see, Satan wants nothing more than to scare us. He is the great deceiver. And really it is all he has to use against those who have the authority of Jesus Christ in them. So he brings fear into us, to believe that his minions from hell can do horrible things to us. Demons may have power, but they do not have any authority, unless we give them ours. So often we believe his lies and just freely give over our authority. As much as the enemy would like us to believe they can harm us, we must remember that we are covered with the precious blood of Jesus, and have the authority by His name to tell them to go.

And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal. Luke 9:1-2

It has been a long process for me over the past year as I have learned about my gift of discerning spirits. There is no talk of spiritual gifts in my church, and many people do not believe the gifts of the Holy Spirit are for believers today. The think that these gifts stopped being given out after the Bible was done being written. Some people get very uncomfortable when it comes to the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They feel these gifts are strange and unpredictable. Unfortunately these are more lies of Satan. The enemy would love for us to not tap into the power that God has given us with His gifts. These leaves us weak and easy targets. It also causes separation in the church, as this issue is so divisive among believers.

After I got over my initial shock in discovering I did indeed have the gift of discerning spirits, I began to get very excited. I was experiencing my own demonic oppression and spiritual attack and my desire to free others began to grow intensely. I just wasn’t really sure what exactly I was supposed to do with this gift. It seemed a little strange to be able to sense demons and angels, because then what do you do with this information? God was preparing me for something much greater though!

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

With my gift of discerning spirits I am also able to get information about people I wouldn’t otherwise know. Such as a sense of what they were feeling, what they needed prayer for, and if they were lying or not. I also had a great love of worship and feeling the presence of God. These things all help greatly when combined with a desire to help people. The most wonderful moment came when finally I was able to put all these things into practice!

It was at a night of healing at a local church that my husband and I attend. I had never been bold enough to go up and pray with someone who was looking for healing. I had also been very oppressed every other time I had ever gone, and didn’t feel at all equipped to be able to help anyone. But on this particular night, after an amazing time of worship and communing with the presence of God, I knew it was time. I saw a friend praying for healing for someone, and so went up to pray alongside. I wasn’t really sure how I could use my gift of discerning spirits, but God knew. He took me by the hand that night, and lead me into praying for three different individuals, and casting out demons out of two of them.

And also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out,  and Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s household manager, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them[a] out of their means. Luke 8:2-3

DoveStainGlassFinally! To be able to know that I was able to use these gifts exactly as God had intended them for! To have the insight and knowledge, given to me by the Holy Spirit, to know exactly how to pray, and to speak words of Truth into these people who were looking for healing. My whole life came into focus that night. For so long I had wondered why I had fallen so far away from God, practicing witch craft, and being so lost. It all made sense to me now. The enemy had lied to me for so long. He had lured me with the seduction of magic into a life of wickedness, convincing me to hate God. All because he knew that if I came into my rightful inheritance as a believer in Jesus Christ, that I would be able to use my power to stomp him out. Not just in my life, but in the life of many others.

God has given each one of us gifts to use so that we might exercise them faithfully for the Kingdom of God. Yet so many of us have lost belief that we are even capable of having these amazing gifts. The gifts of the Holy Spirit are so special – something from our amazing Father who wants to share a piece of heaven with us right here on earth. Not every person will have discerning spirits or healing, or something that seems “important”, but you will have a gift, and believe me, it is very valuable in the eyes of God. Every gift is useful to build up, encourage, and help other people and should be used in doing so. Please do not believe the lies that you are not worthy of receiving these gifts, or that these gifts are scary or don’t even exist. You were made for such a time as this and if you are reading this right now, then please know God is calling you out in this very moment to use the gift he has given you.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10




December 2 2014

Healing Touch

holyspiritHave you ever thought you were gifted? You know, had a special talent to be able to do something exceptionally well? I haven’t. I have never seen myself as a person with any sort of gift. Not until recently that is. As I have been studying the Bible I have come across a realization that God has gifted each one of us with spiritual gifts. Sometimes we do not recognize these gifts as being special, because to the world they seem quite ordinary. I guess that is why I have gone so long without realizing that I had any sort of gift at all.

I actually thought for quite a while that the stories in the Bible about healing and prophecy and miracles were all things dead and gone. You know, just something that happened in Bible days, but doesn’t exist any more. So I was very shocked when a friend told me that people still did healing. I mean really shocked. How could anyone actually heal someone in this day and age? Isn’t that for those TV pastors who smack people in the forehead and they fall on the ground crying? I mean, like a joke or a ruse, not reality. She assured me it was reality indeed.

It wasn’t for at least 6 months that I revisited that topic in my life. In the meantime I was suffering from severe brain fog, dizziness, and exhaustion and I had no idea why. Well, I had some idea why. I thought it had to do with a back injury and so I was seeing a chiropractor to try to relieve my misery. Some days I could barely function and on those days life was difficult at best. I could barely get through the day doing the school with the kids and getting some chores done. Going to the chiropractor helped on the days I did go, but that wasn’t very often.

I actually ended up going to a new chiropractor who saw me three times a week because after an x-ray I was told it looked pretty bad. I prayed often for help from God in this situation because I just wanted it to go away. Then I heard of a church in a nearby city that held a service once a month just for healing. I mean they actually had people with the spiritual gift of healing who could pray for you to be healed. I guess I was a little skeptical at first, but I was super excited at the same time. I believe in the power of God and His truths in the Bible. After all, Jesus gave the power and authority to the disciples to heal and the Bible tells us Jesus never changes, so why would things be any different now?

The church that was holding the service was one I had never been to before. A worship band played first, and it was different from what I was used to. Instead of playing typical worship songs, they would play one song and repeat the chorus many times. I often get nervous when I am in a new setting, so this actually set me at ease after a while. I didn’t know many of the songs they played, but because of the repetition it became easy to sing along. Before I knew it I was being moved by the worship and I felt the Holy Spirit pressing on me in a way I had never experienced before.

I had some pretty amazing encounters with God before, but here in this room where the worship bad was channeling in to the Holy Spirit, I felt Him fall upon me like a bomb. I was moved to tears and to the point of being overwhelmed, because I had never felt God so strongly before. It was amazing and scary at the same time. And it was unmistakably God in that room then.

healingAfter the worship, which I never wanted to end, the person in charge of the healing service talked for a while about the work they did healing, there in the city and in other countries as well. I was very surprised, once again, to know that healing was something that was real and alive in this day and age. After that he asked for his team of healers to come up. The healers each were able to get a word from God about ailments of people in the room. They did not know who had the pain or problem, just that there was something in a certain area of the body. They would call that out and ask that if anyone had that ailment, to please come down to the front of the stage for healing. It was not cheesy or hoaky at all. Once the healers were done with that, the worship bad began to play again and the people who came for healing were standing at the front of the stage. A healer would come up to them privately to pray for healing. Often two or three other people would come over and pray alongside them.

One of the healers called out that someone had ‘brain fog that was spiritual attack’. I wasn’t really sure if that was me, but I knew I had brain fog badly. It never occurred to me that it could be spiritual attack. I went up to the front of the stage and waited for someone to pray with me. I had two different people praying over me for probably about 10 minutes. I didn’t know if I felt anything or not to be honest. It was all so overwhelming and strange and I didn’t know what to think. While my husband waited for me in his seat, he was praying for healing for himself because he had bad back pain. So bad it was hard to even sit in his chair. But when we walked out of there, his pain was gone. The Holy Spirit was all over this healing service and it was apparent to everyone there.

The next morning I woke up and I felt amazing. I mean like a brand new person. I felt like God had touched my soul and I was brimming with power and love and the Holy Spirit. I had never felt so alive and happy and loving that day. It was a spiritual high like I never knew could exist. I mean I have done lots of drugs in the past and never had I had a high like this. This is exactly what people wish they could get from drugs. My brain fog and dizziness were gone. And that is when I realized, that a big part of my problem must have been spiritual attack. Another thing I guess I didn’t really think was for our time either. Just something you read in the Bible in the form of possession. It seems easy to dismiss things we cannot easily see, but I am learning that God is so much bigger than what we can see with our eyes. There is a whole new level to life that we are to distracted to notice and our enemy would love to keep us away from it. It was not long before I was about to see just how badly the enemy wanted to keep me away from the truth.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.John 10:10