February 6 2017

Gateway To My Soul

soulIt is so easy to feel overwhelmed, like the weight of the war is simply going to crush your soul. There are times when I am attacked relentlessly for days at a time. There is no break, except to just throw myself into complete denial. The enemy is very decisive in his plans against me, and uses many ways to try to torment me. Recently I have had a long battle with a physical problem; my eyes. Not my eye sight, but with my eyes becoming swollen, itchy, red, watery and painful. Basically my eyes were showing signs of allergic reaction. The problem is, there was no reason for this to happen.

Last summer my then 8 year old son begged me for a guinea pig for a pet. He had been asking for one for months, and I was really against it. I am a huge animal lover, and we already have 3 small dogs and a cat. I have never had any type of rodent and I felt that a guinea pig would just be noisy and messy. However, his birthday was coming up, and I could see his little heart was just swelling with love to give to one of these little creatures. So my husband and I decided after much discussion that it would be OK.

Of course my then 6 year old very much wanted one as well. We are suckers I guess, because we came home with 2 little guinea pigs and a cage, etc. I had no idea I was going to fall madly in love with this little piggies! Within a few weeks I was adopting my own sweet piggie. So our house was filled with hay and love. I had no issues, but after time eventually noticed getting a little itchy after holding my piggie.

After a few more months I decided to adopt one more piggie. I couldn’t resist. It was like a gift from heaven. My pets bring me so much joy in the midst of so much war. About a month later my eyes begin to get very red and itchy. Then suddenly one morning, they were swollen when I woke up. It was out of nowhere. I prayed and tried to find out what was going on. My first suspicion is always human spirits or witchcraft. I am harassed almost daily by these things.

My eyes soon became worse and worse, until I could barely open them in the morning because they were so swollen. I tried to treat it as an allergy and make sure to not touch hay, and wash my hands if I held the pigs, and to take allergy medication. There was no relief in the symptoms. I began addressing the issue in my inner healing sessions, and asking for healing prayer at church, because I knew it had to have a spiritual root, since the problem didn’t arise for so long. I went deep where God led me, and addressed issues of self hate and more.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Psalm 43:5

If relief would come one day, it would just swell up again the next. I began to become despondent. I began to cry out to God in anger. Why was I continuing to suffer when I was so willing to go into the deep places to find out where I was not  aligned with the mind of Christ, or where I was holding on to hate or needing to forgive. I began to feel that maybe God was punishing me, or that maybe He had given Satan permission to thresh me like wheat. Depression started to overtake me.

The physical symptoms were torturous for me. I already have many daily battles with attack from several groups that harass me and my family, as well as the attack I get from doing my ministry. It was altogether to much for me to continue to deal with daily. Especially when I knew I was continually submitting to the Most High to allow Him to refine me in His fire. I began to wonder if God was going to just keep using this pain to bring me into inner healing constantly. I was very angry.

I cannot tell you how many times I prayed for discernment and healing for this problem. I have had to go very deep in order to really get to the root of this problem. Yes, the devil has used my vulnerability as a means to attack me, but I had to be willing to see and address some very intense personal pain in order to truly find healing for my eyes. A very traumatic experience led me to agree with so many lies about myself, the world, people, and God, that it wreaked havoc in my soul. Yet I had no idea that all of that was inside of me, until my body finally decided to speak up.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
    He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

You see, our bodies often communicate with us about deep emotional and spiritual issues that we have never tapped into. Many diseases and illnesses, including mental issues, are rooted in emotional pain or trauma from our past. When painful circumstances happen our lives, especially as children, we learn something from them. Usually what we learn is rooted in a pain identity, that shapes who we are for the rest of our lives.

It does not even have to be something that looks very bad. It could be as simple as having someone embarrass you, or having a parent talk very harshly to you. Every person is different, and what breaks one person may not break the next. Some people are traumatized by a car accident or seeing someone they love get hurt, and that is enough for them to hold on to false beliefs such as God is bad, people will hurt you, love brings pain, and so much more.

You see the world is constantly sending us the message that we are fine, we are independent, and that whatever problem there is, we can handle it on our own. Or maybe with the help from some useful medications. And if we need to rely on God, we are weak. We are worthless. That message is from the devil, who wants nothing more than to kill your soul and steal away your relationship to God. So we don’t look within, because we are too busy trying to be OK.

But we are not. We are not OK. We are broken, we are hurting, we are alone, we are in need. And that is OK! We were created to be whole in an interdependent relationship with Jesus Christ alone. We were created to need Him. We were created to partner with Him. And often times even when we think we are doing good working with God, we are actually only surrendering a small part of our hearts to Him, and keeping the rest for ourselves.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

The bottom line is, we are afraid. If God is so great that He would come down to earth and die for us, then how absolutely horrible must we be? We must be like tiny little ants that are so pathetic that God had to throw us a life line, but really He is just angry at us for everything. Wrong. So wrong. God only came down, giving up His throne and His glory out of pure and complete love. A love that looks at us, our brokenness, and sin, and says “I love you just the way you are.”

It’s the devil who has convinced us we are worthless. God does not even see us as worthless at all. He sees the shame we carry, and He feels sorrow for us, because that shame was never ours in the first place. It was given to us through horrible life circumstances that the devil hand picked for us so we could be in bondage to his lies and deceptions. God is not even mad at us for one second. He only wants us to see how intensely He loves us, so we can lay down all this burden before Him and just let Him hold us close.

God’s love for us can never be tainted or broken. It does not matter what we do or where we have been. God has unconditional love and acceptance for us. So until we can begin to turn over all the broken pieces of our hearts to Him, we are going to stay in bondage to our brokenness. It takes courage and faith to look inside of our broken hearts and let God in. We know it’s ugly, but God wants us to understand that He makes beauty from ashes. If God can create an entire universe with His words, He can certainly turn us into the masterpiece we were made to be.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever. 

Psalm 23:5-6

So if you are struggling with anger at God, or physical or mental illness that won’t stop plaguing you, or you know that you are just falling apart at the seams and you can’t stop it anymore, then you know this message is for you. It is time to surrender. You have been running for a very long time, and you know it has led you nowhere. Now it’s time to come home. And home is right here, inside of you, where your Jesus Christ is already waiting for you.

He wants to bring you healing. He wants to bring you joy. It is possible for you. Jesus did not die in vain, but to give you life in abundance, and victory. You just have to be willing to fight to receive the gift that Jesus is freely giving you. The devil has been allowed to make strongholds in your heart, and it’s time to do the work to tear them all down. You can do this, if you are just willing to partner with Jesus.

After being so disheartened, God has revealed to me some important truths. While my eyes are not yet getting better, He is allowing this because I need to understand the depth of this issue. There were many events that took place that have trampled on my soul, and understanding these things is going to bring healing so deep that its going to restore gifts that the enemy tried to steal.

Not every healing is going to come immediately. Sometimes it needs to happen in layers. God does not turn His back on us ever. If you have been praying for a miracle healing and you haven’t seen it yet, it is time to press in and allow the Spirit to move you where He knows you need to go.

No matter what, always remember, we are not flesh and blood, but spirits that are eternal. We are going to cast off this bodies one day, and never remember the pain and suffering we have had to endure. So set your eyes on the eternal truths, and on Jesus Christ Himself.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
    my lips will praise you.
 So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

Psalm 63:1-4

January 9 2017

2017: A Year of Healing and Restoration

healingAs I write this, it is officially 2017. We have moved into a new year and a new time of anointing on God’s people. Everywhere I look I see confirmation that this new year is going to bring many mighty works of God’s people for His Kingdom, and I am so excited! Last year was quite difficult for me. I got very deeply into my inner healing where I began to learn some terrifying truths of my life. I was actually raised in the occult and was subject to countless satanic rituals and other horrific abuse.

It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with this as my reality. My whole life I knew things were bad, but I always got by in telling myself that a lot of people had it worse than I had. When I began feeling suicidal at 13, a feeling that persisted throughout most of my life, I had no idea why I wanted to die so badly. I just knew that there was more pain in my heart than I could bear any longer and I wanted out of this terrible world.

As I began to go through my weekly inner healing sessions, the pieces of my life began to come together. I slowly began to make sense of the fact that I could not remember most of my childhood, or what happened to my favorite teddy bear that suddenly disappeared, or why I couldn’t stop fantasizing about death, and why I was so attracted to darkness and witchcraft. However, I also came into some major revelations about the heart of the Father. And oh how magnificent they are.

Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 106:1

God has used every bit of my healing to bring me deeper and further into the truth of who He is. He is so good. He is loving, and kind, and patient. I have done terrible things during these satanic rituals. Things I had no choice but to do. I have accepted rights, agreements, gifts, and demons into my very being, time and time again. I felt dirty, ugly, evil, terrible, and more. I knew in my heart I was irredeemable and unforgivable in the eyes of God. I was ashamed and full of self hatred for what I had done. But my Father told me time and time again, I was beautiful, perfect, completely redeemed and forgiven. Beloved.

I have cried a thousand tears as I felt the shame and hatred, and then the love and awe wash over me. How can someone as terrible as me, possibly be loved by God? One by one, God has torn down so many strongholds within me, keeping me in bondage through lies and false belief systems. I truly believed that God too was terrible and evil, mean, cruel, judgmental, hateful. Many places inside my soul that were created for this purpose have been tore asunder and restored into who God designed me to be.

I am not saying I am done with healing. As a matter of fact I actually have a long way to go. When you have gone through the extremes that I have, healing is a long process and journey. I am OK with that. Each person has their own path into healing and freedom, and it is going to be different. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it just matters that you are willing to do the work. If you want to come out of Egypt and into the Promised Land, you have to be willing to do the work.

But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.

Exodus 13:18

When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they were willing to do the initial work to leave, and after that they wanted to continually give up and go back to their oppression. That is where many people get stuck. They are willing to take some initial steps into healing and freedom, but when the journey gets difficult and the road takes turns they weren’t expecting, they abandon the journey altogether and go back to captivity. It is easy to live in captivity, when it is all you have known your whole life.

However, if this is true, then you are not living on the feast of the Word of God. You are living by sight and feelings, which are completely unreliable. The devil has spent years working to twist the truth into something that looks right, but is completely false. Just like he did in the Garden of Eden. If the devil can get you to believe his lies about God, no matter how small they may seem, he has accomplished a great work within you.

The work I have been doing in healing has been incredibly hard. There have been many times I wanted to give up, or run away from it all. Who wants this as their reality? Yet through it all God has given me many promises. He has promised to escalate my healing and bring forth my testimony to the world, and He has done so. He has given me many more promises and insight that I cling to, knowing that my Father never goes back on His word. He has given me divine truths that are sweeter than honey in my mouth. All this has made my journey completely worthwhile.

 

I know there are many people out there asking, what is the next step for me? They feel so lost, so alone, and so scared. I understand, because I have been there, standing on the shore, waiting for hope to come rescue me. However, all I could see was a dark cloud looming over me, keeping me from seeing the light that was stretching beyond the shore and into eternity. It was all I could perceive, and therefore all I believed.

It is time to take a leap of faith my beloveds. It is time to dive deeply into the truth of who God is, and start combating the lies of the enemy that have become so prevalent in your soul. When we have more of us aligned with the truths of the Kingdom of Darkness than God’s Kingdom, then we are not going to be able to see the truth of who God is, or who we are. We are all mighty Kingdom Warriors. We are all anointed for a purpose here on this earth. We are all sons and daughters of the Most High God. This are truths from God’s very Word. We need to begin feasting on these truths, day and night, until we can begin to see a break in the clouds and know that our Redeemer is already here.

It is not easy to leave the land of Egypt. Her ways are seductive and powerful, and we feel helpless to untangle ourselves from this huge mess we blame ourselves or God for. Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing. He is the maker of the heavens and the earth. He created all people and all things. Through Him, everything was made, for a purpose, and it is good. Yes there is evil in this world, but it did not come from the hand of God. It came from the work of sin and rebellion and witchcraft, that we have each willingly taken part in.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:18

Why would God make a people who would eventually turn on Him, and blame Him for all their mistakes? Love. God is love and I pray everyone has a revelation of even a fraction of His love. God knew exactly what would happen, and He created us anyway. Because His love is so vast, so deep and so long, that He cannot help but love us. No matter what. No matter what you have done. No matter who you are. Jesus loves you.

Jesus is the Light of the World, and He wants to bring that light into your heart. He is patient; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will never leave you nor abandon you. He is with you always, even until the end of time. So He will walk with you through your process. He will bring you to where you need to go. He will stand with you when you face many trials, and He will carry you when you fall, broken.

I will betroth you to me forever;
    I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
    in love and compassion.
 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
    and you will acknowledge the Lord.

Hosea 2:19-20

Jesus is good. Trust in Him, and trust in His words. Get into the Word of God today and highlight every place where it talks about the patient, loving, kind nature of God. Highlight every place where it says He is with us, protects us, strengthens us, never leaves us, and the many other promises. Meditate on them day and night. Feed your dry and barren soul with these truths. That is your next step. Then let Jesus take care of the rest.

God knows where you are. He knows where you need to go, and when you need to leave. He is going to take you there. Trust in Jesus, not in self. Trust that Jesus is leading the way and then just follow. You can do this, because the strength of God and the Light of Christ reside inside of you. I love you all.

The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

March 7 2016

How To Deal With Pain And Anger

pain and angerI have been going through hell lately. It’s been over half of a year now since I began a journey into discovering why I have had a life filled with intense pain. I had gotten to the point where I felt much better than I ever had, because Jesus unconditional love and saving grace had brought me transformation. Yet I discovered that as time went on, I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was. After the initial transformation (which was huge) I started to decline. Don’t get me wrong – all the changes the Holy Spirit inspired me to make, and all the growth I achieved were still there. Yet I came to a place where I was finally at the end of my rope. I had tried everything to get better with prayer and healing and deliverance. Yet somehow I could barely make it through a day and take care of myself, let alone homeschool my kids and make dinner. I was drowning in pain and anger.

I knew there was something deeper going on, and so I decided to explore options for counseling. Once I began to dive into the emotional and spiritual depths of my soul, I found the answers I had been seeking. I was horribly abused as a child, by the people who loved me and were supposed to be taking care of me. This was a shocking blow to me, because the abuse was so severe that I actually completely blocked it out. I mean I had no memories whatsoever of any of it. Yet the information I began to receive as revelations from the Holy Spirit, finally started to put my life together like a puzzle that had lost the corner pieces.

I have always been drowning in deep pain. Pain deeper than I think one person should ever have to bear the burden of. Yet somehow I did bear it, and continue with life. I think not knowing the source of that pain (aka denial) was very helpful until I could get to a point where the Holy Spirit could begin to heal me. If I had attempted to recover these memories any sooner, I am pretty sure I would have gone completely mad. These are things that no person should have to live through, and I am not even sure how I did. Well, I am sure actually – It was by the protection of God. Yes, even though I suffered severe abuse, God was there protecting me in ways I could not know and got me through to where I am now. Hallelujah! Now THAT is a miracle! I would not even be a lover of Jesus Christ, if the devil were to have succeeded in his plan. Praise the Lord, the Almighty God, that I am where I am right now.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

This journey has been a very difficult road, and it is not over. I have had some days where functioning was not even on my list of things to do that day. I just did what I could to make it through and tried not to have a complete breakdown in front of my kids. I have felt so awful as I have had to face the root of all my pain. I have been depressed, angry, scared, hopeless and worse – suicidal. Yet it has all been worth it because I see the healing Jesus is bringing. Things are improving. Because of this pain I have had to drop out of most of my social groups. At one point I was in 6, yes 6, Bible studies at a time. I was doing well at all of them and enjoying them. I also had a moms group and a life group. I have had to drop out of all of them, except my life group. Which honestly is only because that is the one group the Lord has moved to me stay in.

I haven’t been good company or a good friend. I haven’t been able to pray for people the way I used to or reach out to people in need the way I have wanted too. I have just shut myself in and tried to just do what I could each day. I would often start crying in public (like at some of my groups or at church) because I would be reminded of my great and deep pain. I have felt isolated and very alone. How can you share something like this with anyone else? First of all, it is more than I can bear, so I cannot expect others to bear it as well. Second of all, this is not your every day abuse that you just talk about. Not to say people talk about abuse easily. Yet most types of abuse have at least a support group of some kind or there are other people who have been there you can connect with. No, this abuse is so ugly and horrifying that is has to be kept secret. At least that is how I have lived for months.

I have to say the worst part is, as I have tried to explain to those I know in my life just a little bit, so they could understand why I am looking so depressed or started crying randomly or dropped out of my groups, I have not gotten a positive response. I try not to give details really, because it is personal, and as I said, very hard for people to deal with. I have gotten the brush off, or some kind comments then a change of subject, or some words that were supposed to be comforting but were hurtful instead. I have sat there in church crying, while people I know were a few feet away talking and laughing, oblivious to my pain. It has been very hard for me, especially coming from a place of wanting to push people away, because it seems safer than risking getting hurt again.

He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds. 

Psalm 147:3

I have known suffering personally. I have been in the trenches with it, and longed to climb up out and into the light. Yet I felt so hopeless that I could not even reach up to touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. Even that small of a task seemed impossible in those moments. I know not everyone has experienced that depth of pain like I have, but I do know everyone at some point has reached a point of pain that for them, seemed unbearable. Everyone has had those moments when they feel utterly alone and lost in this life, unsure of what to do to get help with where they are at. And that is why it is my prayer that if I ever, ever see someone suffering, that I would never just turn a blind eye, or walk away from that person without reaching out first. There is nothing like being in the depths of pain and sorrow, and knowing that the very Christians who are supposed to uplift and support you, can easily turn their backs on you in an instant.

I hope I do not sound angry or resentful, because for the most part, I am not. I have learned much from these experiences, about pain, and about people. What I have come to realize is that people hate pain and do not want to deal with it. I know that sounds pretty obvious, but actually it is not. We as people go to great lengths to avoid pain or dealing with the pain we already have. We take prescription drugs, get numbed to give birth, do drugs, drink alcohol, watch TV, and so much more. I know that sounds simple, but really the process by which we go to avoid pain becomes incredibly complicated. We created elaborate stories in our minds to have reason behind what we do to escape pain. We are very convincing to ourselves, but the outside world, and God, are not so fooled by our denial.

Take me for instance. I have tried to cover up my own pain with anger and rage and hate. If you knew me personally you would probably be surprised to hear that, because I try to keep that hidden from outsiders. It is my family that has seen my ugly secret, and has been on the receiving end of most of it. Yet anger has been so much easier for me to deal with. Safer. When I am angry, no one can touch me; no one can hurt me again. I have control, unlike when I was abused I had no control. I can keep those I love at arm’s length, instead of trusting them and being betrayed. I can pretend that I am angry about all kinds of things – things people do or say, or something that happened at church or whatever. That way I don’t have to acknowledge that I am really angry because I was betrayed and hurt and abused. I can just wash those things away with the anger. The funny thing is, anger is what brought me initially to my journey of inner healing. I was tired of being so angry all.the.time. Now I understand why I am angry and can begin to let go of the anger to start tapping into the pain.

My shield is God Most High,
    who saves the upright in heart.

Psalm 7:10

I know that it is hard to think about tapping into your pain. After all, pain is painful. We are told constantly to avoid pain at all costs – not just by our own human nature, but by the world around us. Pain is the enemy, and we must fight it at all costs. Yet we know that the truths of the world are always the opposite of the Truth of God. Jesus tells us that pain is to be expected in this life, no avoided. So when did we buy into the lie that we need to run from pain? When we face the ugliness of our pain, we have to face the ugliness of sin. It is sin that causes pain; our sin and the sins of others against us. The story of Adam and Eve is a perfect example. They sinned against God by believing the lies of the devil, and next thing they knew they had unraveled the foundation of what God had created for them.

Adam blamed Eve and God for his own sin and Eve blamed the devil. Neither one of them could face up to the pain of their sin against God. God did not cause them to sin, Satan did. Satan is the originator of all sin, and will continue to slither into our lives and use anything he can to convince us of his truths. His biggest “truth” is, that we must hide from the pain of sin and blame God for what we have experienced. He absolutely loves that he can turn people away from God, and towards him. Because when we turn to sin, we are turning to Satan himself. Sin begets sin. When we are sinned against it creates sin within us. The sin of the abuse that I endured, caused me to in turn, lash out with sin towards God and others for my whole life. Was I doing it knowingly? No. Did I have good reasons to be angry and lash out in pain. Yes. God does not hold any of that against me, or anyone else for that matter. That was finished at the Cross.

hopeSo we have a choice in this matter of pain. We can accept that we have great pain that we have ignored and that it has caused us to sin, or we can continue to live the lie that the devil has perpetuated for thousands of years. Your pain is too ugly to bear and you need to hide from all of it. It is OK that you are hurting. It is OK that you are angry. It is OK even if you blame God for your pain and anger. What is not OK is that you continue to deny your pain and continue to use it as an excuse to sin. If someone hurt you, or if you have seen horrible injustice to those you love, or worse than that; none of those things are OK. There is nothing that will ever justify that sin against you or anyone else, ever. God is not OK with it, and He will get justice for it in His perfect way. He is the Righteous Judge over all creation, and one day every knee will bow before Him in judgement. Hell is very real, and there will be people there. Only God gets to decide who goes there though. We do not.

I have grown very wear over a lifetime of hiding from my pain. I was unable to deal with my pain fully when I was unable to understand the reasons for my pain. Many times we need to go deep into our souls and our lives to find out the root causes of where our pain comes from. Does that mean you have gone through something as horrific as I have? Maybe not. Everyone has their own story, and each person needs to take that leap of faith to walk with Jesus Christ to come to a place where they can receive His healing. There is a place for you, where you will find amazing freedom in your life and be prepared to fulfill the calling God has anointed you with. Are you ready to walk into that place? Are you ready to earn your crown of glory? He is waiting for you beloved. You are not alone.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

Ephesians 4:1

February 29 2016

The Purpose of A Deliverance Ministry

deliverance ministryLast summer I had the amazing opportunity to encounter a deliverance ministry that would forever change my life. I did not know much about deliverance, although I had attempted it several times before, either on my own or through the help of others who prayed for me. I had no idea deliverance was even something important or necessary in my life. I only knew that spiritually things were wrong and something had to change. It took me over a year of research to even understand the concept of deliverance and why it was important, but it was not until my own deliverance did I realize how great an impact it would have on my life.

Merriam-Webster define’s deliverance as: the state of being saved from something dangerous or unpleasant. The Bible has at least 85 verses that talk about God delivering us (rescuing, saving) from troubles, distress, fear, enemies, the wicked, destruction and more. Jesus has brought us the greatest deliverance of all time, by dying on the cross to give us freedom from death and hell.

Commonly, deliverance is referred to as a spiritual deliverance from demonic oppression. We are spiritual beings in a physical body, surrounded by a spiritual realm unseen by our eyes. Jesus cast out demons from the Jews all throughout the Gospels, and the disciples and apostles have many stories of casting out demons from people as well. Deliverance is not something often talked about in Christian circles, yet it is one of the most important experiences a Christian can have.

Jesus summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness.

Matthew 10:1

There is a common misconception that Christians cannot have demons. The belief holds that a Christian cannot have demons and have the Holy Spirit at the same time. Demons can harass Christians, or possibly attach to Christians, but cannot be inside of a Christian in any way. This is a belief that has taken root in the church over the past century, but if you look through the history of deliverance, you will see it was quite common for hundreds of years. The devil wants to stamp out the very thought of demonic oppression in Christians, because he can effectively keep his strong hold if we do not believe we can have demons.

There is nothing in scripture that says we cannot have demons if we have the Holy Spirit. Even Paul the Apostle had what he called a “thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan, to torment me.” We know for a fact that the Apostle Paul was filled with the Holy Spirit, and even went to the throne room of God – he speaks about it in the very same passage he talks about being tormenting by a demon. God did not deliver Paul from this demon, yet used it, at least for a time, to teach Paul about relying on God alone. It seems like a harsh way to learn a lesson, but we see something similar in a story about King Saul.

 Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him. Saul’s attendants said to him, “See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you. Let our lord command his servants here to search for someone who can play the lyre. He will play when the evil spirit from God comes on you, and you will feel better.”

1 Samuel 16:14-16

It is difficult to look at a passage such as this, and see that God Himself sent an evil spirit to torment King Saul. Yet, it is here in scripture. God is sovereign and in control of all creation. Therefore He has to give permission to the devil and his minions when it comes to allowing them to harass His children. Why would an all loving God do such a thing? For the same reason God gave permission for Paul to be tormented – “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10. We have to learn about humility and dependence on God, in the face of hardships and persecution, just as Christ did. That may be a tough pill to swallow, but it is actually a beautiful thing.

We are so reliant on this physical world and all we see and feel. It becomes a hindrance; a crutch, to our spiritual lives. We forget so easily that the devil is a prowling lion, seeking to devour us. We go about our lives believing that all of our problems are just symptoms of our lives; pain because we over use our bodies, health problems because of the food we eat, depression because of our genetics, etc. Sure those things do play a part in our lives, but we are completely over looking the root of all of these problems. The spiritual nature of this world and ourselves.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

The reality is, pretty much every single person has some form of demonic oppression. When I say ‘demonic oppression’ I am referring to having a demon(s) inside of your physical being. A Christian cannot be possessed by demons, meaning demons cannot be in your spirit. That is where the Holy Spirit is. They can be in your physical being though, influencing your soul (mind, body, emotion). A person who has not given their life over to Jesus Christ can be possessed by demons. That would move from oppression to possession.

The devil is very busy working on stealing you away from God, starting generations before you are even born. Not because you in particular are special to him, but because he wants as many people in his kingdom as he can possible get. All the devil needs to do is get on man in a family to commit his life to darkness, and that one man will commit every generation under him indefinitely. This give rights to the devil over that one man’s family – his children, and children’s children, and so on.

So you yourself may not have done anything to give rights over to demonic oppression, but your grandfather, or great great grandfather may have, and you would have no idea. Your family may have a history of depression or alcoholism, etc; that is a sign of demonic oppression that has come down your family line. That is just one of the many signs that you can see. So even if you grew up in a Christian home and gave your life to Christ at a young age, you still need a deliverance because you have to break off generational sin.

Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.

Exodus 34:7

A deliverance is part of the salvation experience. There are six parts to the word salvation: welfare, prosperity, deliverance, preservation, salvation, safety. Deliverance is a very important step in the process of salvation. Without deliverance you are not clearing out the places where darkness has had a chance to get a foothold to make more room for the filling of the Holy Spirit. Without a doubt, the Holy Spirit comes to reside in every believer who confesses Jesus Christ as Lord; but how much of yourself are you able to give over to the Holy Spirit to indwell? If you have covenants with darkness that you are unaware of, then those places are left untouched by the Spirit of God. If you decide to believe it is impossible to have any darkness in you because you have Christ, you are denying a very important truth. We are all sinners – born sinners. Your sin does not leave the moment you accept Christ into your heart. It is part of the process of sanctification. So why believe a lie that you have never partnered with darkness, knowingly or unknowingly? You are giving the devil a continued foothold that will go into the next generation to come.

The Holy Spirit wants to come indwell us not only to commune with us, but to bring us healing. Without healing we cannot completely connect with the Spirit of God. It is pride-fullness to believe we have never partnered with darkness. Darkness is a part of this world and everything of the world. It would be impossible to go through life and never partner with darkness in one way or another. Only Jesus Christ, the perfect one, was able to achieve that. Even Jesus was tempted many times, to partner with the devil and his lies. Thankfully He did not, otherwise we would never even be able to move into salvation.

Deliverance is a part of the healing process. When you come to God, you are broken. Many are worn down from the ways of the world, and have spent a lifetime sinning against God purposefully. We need to be healed from the lies of the world we have let become one with our thoughts. We need to get healing from the emotional and mental pain we have experienced in life. Deliverance is a step towards this process of healing, because the demonic always partners with our pain and the lies of the world. It is like a spring cleaning. We are resurrected with Christ and walk into a new life. Do you want to bring unnecessary baggage with you?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

atthecrossIf you are ready to take the next step into deliverance, then that is a wonderful thing. It takes great strength to first realize you have a problem and need help, and second reach out and ask for help. There is help for you! God has not left you to do this life alone. He is right here with you! He is ready to walk with you into this journey of healing. He is going to strengthen and empower you to be able to do this. If the thought of a deliverance brings fear, then you need to understand, that is the demonic inside of you. The last thing they want is to be discovered and kicked out! If you are feeling angry at the thought of deliverance, then that too is demonic. The demons do not want you to believe in deliverance, because that means you have to accept that you might have demons. And if you accept that you might have demons, you are being empowered to freedom! The devil is a slave driver and does not want you to be free!!!

Just know that deliverance isn’t about getting 100% free of demons. You are going to receive great freedom, but you may have some more work to do after your initial deliverance. That is where an inner healing would come in. If you still have problems you have some very deep roots into darkness that you have oppressed and need help to uncover. That is OK! It is actually good! Because if you are willing to reach that level of freedom, well watch out Satan! You are going to be unleashed into the amazing plan and calling God has over your life! Are you willing to accept that calling that God has for you? It is a choice you have to make. It is not easy. Yet if you choose to walk into that journey, then you must know that you are going to receive a crown of glory and honor in heaven! Amazing!!

Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. 1 Peter 5:2-4

January 11 2016

Your Sin Does Not Offend God

sinWhen I first came to Christ, I was a big time sinner. Who isn’t right? It seems like I probably have committed most of the sins there are  – drinking, drugs, promiscuous sex, sexual immorality, witchcraft, divorce, adultery, lying, stealing, swearing, taking the Lord’s name as a swear word, blasphemy, hate and violence. Wow! Is there anything else left outside of murder? I’m not really sure. All I know is it was an absolute miracle that I came to God at all. It all started with walking into a Presbyterian church one Sunday morning, after never really have been to a Christian church in my entire life. I am often asked how I came to God, and the only answer that I can come up with is God. It was God Himself who brought my family into that church that morning. No person led us there, and it was completely out of left field that we even considered going to a Christian church. I was steeped in sin and loving it.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

The Holy Spirit did a good work on me once He got me into church. We began going to church every week and started to read the Bible, leading up to a baptism for my husband, one of my sons and myself. I believe this is when the real changes began to occur in my life. I lost all desire to drink or do drugs, to cuss, take the Lord’s name in vain, and much more. It only progressed into changing my dress to be more modest, not watching violence on TV (or sex and drugs, etc.) and more. The Holy Spirit was cleansing my soul in a way that was absolutely refreshing! I felt close to Jesus and was in love with Him. My relationship grew and grew until I came to this great place where I thought I had “made it” so to speak. Wow! Being a Christian was amazing, and the best experience of my life! Being with God was beyond anything I had every known that was supposed to be fun or exciting. He filled my heart and soul and brought me to completion. Could it get any better?

And yet it did! My relationship with Jesus continued to grow as He poured out His spiritual gifts and blessings onto me. It was amazing! Yet there were other problems I had. Problems with anger, and problems with my health. They were plaguing me and causing me suffering. Soon my relationship with Jesus took the back seat as I tried to just function every day. My health problems consumed my entire life. I was miserable and soon began to believe God had abandoned me. Finally I had a deliverance session that cleared up my brain fog and left me able to breathe again, enough to begin to restore my relationship with Jesus (at least on my side, because He really never left me). But my anger was still there. So I decided to try getting help, because I wanted to claim the victorious life that I knew Jesus had for me.

for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

1 John 1:4

I began a journey of inner healing which would completely change my life. For the worse (OK it just seemed that way). Many of the bad behaviors, the sin that I had thought I left behind, came creeping back in to my life. Swearing, hate, anger, revenge, lying, and more popped up on a daily basis. I was in shock – shouldn’t inner healing cause healing?! I was absolutely regressing! How could this be? I was also moving farther away in my relationship with God, as I lived in almost constant pain and anger. I was unable to see outside of it for very long and my favorite thing in the world – worship, was something that was lost to me.

I know this sounds bad, but it is actually very good. How can regressing into so much sin possibly be good? Well, it is a part of the healing process. You see I thought God had healed those things in me and cleansed me of my sin. The problem is, that long list of sins I wrote out, were not simply because I was a sinner. Yes, we are all born sinners, and the Bible makes that clear, but we behave this way for more reasons than just being sinners. Many of these sins, these behaviors so offensive to God, are done out of pain and trauma. As a young child I had experienced extreme abuse and it caused me so much pain and anger that as a young adult I blamed God for all of it, and tried to cover it up with drugs, alcohol and sex. I also had severe demonic oppression that led me into witchcraft, the occult and new age. Demons are able to gain access into our bodies through the false beliefs that come with pain and trauma. Sin is not always as black and white as it seems.

It is so easy to judge those around us who we see sinning. Maybe they are alcoholics, drug addicts, addicted to porn, promiscuous, dress provocatively, gamble and so on. We see this and we get angry and want to judge them. How could they call themselves Christian and behave this way? Don’t they know how wrong this sin is, how offensive to God this is? Or maybe they are not a Christian and are just lost in the world. We look at them and feel sorry for them, because we know they just need Jesus. And it’s true! We all need Jesus. But guess what? God is not offended by their behavior. Shocking isn’t it? Isn’t that what we are taught, God hates sin? You’re right, He absolutely does. But you are forgetting one very important thing – Jesus died to cleanse us all from sin before the eyes of God the Father. Therefore no one is seen before the eyes of our Holy God as sinners, but as His beautiful children. Jesus did not die and suffer so only some of us sinners could be saved, but to clear the name of every person on this earth, and free them from their sentence of capital punishment. Every body. The Bible makes it clear that Jesus died for all. Does this mean every person will be saved? No it does not. But every person’s name has been cleared until the time of their judgement. If God saw us all as sinners, He would have to turn His back on each of us until we repented and accepted Jesus. That is not the God of the Bible, that is a God of condemnation and judgement, who forsakes us. We are the most broken and in need before we come to Christ. God does not turn His back on sinners, looking down on them as they continue to sin, He loves them. That is why Jesus came into the world – because of the intense love of our God, our Father. God can’t help but love us.

And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

2 Corinthians 5:15

We are born into a world full of evil. It is the devil’s domain, and he is proud of it. He strives daily to take every single person away from God; to cause them to hate Jesus, turn on Him, and believe God hates them as well. With the help of our natural tendencies to sin, the devil is very successful at his job many times. At least for a season. God is willing that none should perish, and moves heaven and earth to reconcile with each one of His children. Yet because of the prevalent evil and sin in the world, many people suffer and experience, abuse, trauma, pain, disease, death, violence and more. It tears them apart, breaks them down, and causes them to become unable to function the way God designed us to. Many of us are walking around so broken that we can’t help but rely on drugs or sex or lying or other sins to get through our lives. We are so full of pain and despair we don’t even have any idea how deep it runs; like a river that threatens to rise above the shore. That pain is always just below the surface, and because of it, more often than not, we choose to sin in many ways. Does this pain make our sin excusable? No, but it makes it understandable. God knows our hearts and minds, and what we have been through. He has been through it all, with each one of us. He knows how hard it has been, and to what extent we can cope with the things that go wrong in our lives. He sees the sin we commit, but He does not see us as the sin we commit. Instead He sees the pain and brokenness in each of us, and knows why we make the choices we do.

God wants nothing more than to abolish our pain and heal our broken lives. He wants nothing more than to bring us closer to Him, to live in a restored and loving relationship with Him. I have heard many people who view God as a God who is always judging us and make us follow a set of rules to act right and be a certain way. You have to follow all the rules of the Old Testament, you can’t do this and you can’t do that or you are offending God and making Him mad. You need to believe this and not believe that are you are going to hell. I completely understand that, because when I first started reading the Bible, I felt the same way. I was offended by sin, I was offended by sinners and I was convinced that God couldn’t favor those who kept on sinning. That is because I had still yet to come into a deeper understanding of how God loves. God’s love has no conditions on it, ever. You do not need to act a certain way or do a certain thing to receive His love. That is what religion tells us, not Jesus.

Condemnation is not of God but of the devil. He is the Father of Lies and wants only to destroy our souls. So when we are looking down on other sinners of the world and thinking how bad they are, we are not in line with the mind of Christ. Underneath that sinner is a lost soul and a broken heart, crying out for love and desperate for healing. Just like you. They may seem like they have it all together, or they may just seem mean and nasty, but inside their hearts are fractured and crushed into a million pieces. Only Jesus can save us and heal that broken mess inside of us. It is our job to love all those around us, sinners or not. To stop looking at them as a bunch of lowly sinners, and start looking at them as fragile jars of clay that need a little TLC. While it may not be our job to fix the mess, it is certainly our job to love them right in the middle of their mess. Even when we are in the middle of our own mess. We need to take a good look around and realize that the person standing right next to you is crying out for help and hurting just as much as we are. Let each of us reach out and share our burdens’ with the next person, so we can comfort each other and help each other find the heart of Jesus.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

handcuffsI know many Christians who are living in shame because they are struggling with a particular sin. If you are struggling with a sin that you can’t get rid of, that does not mean God is mad at you, or looks down on you. You have the grace and mercy of Christ! The mercy of Jesus triumphs over judgement. If you are struggling it is seriously time to take a deeper look at the root of where this sin is coming from. You have moved past just being a sinner in need of Jesus to having a deep root of pain or trauma that has led to this sin. And the devil is using this pain to push you further into sin, so you will believe you are not good enough for God. You are enough for God! You are worthy! He wants you, all of you and your sinful self! Jesus is the only way to freedom from this world, and all it’s pain and evil. He is the only way to life in abundance. But you must come unhindered by the weight of sin and shame. There is no place for shame at the foot of Christ.

I also know many non-Christians who won’t even look twice at the cross of Christ because they don’t want to be condemned by being told they are full of sin. They have already been condemned by Christians, telling them they are going to hell. That is not the message of the cross! Jesus came to give us freedom from sin, to give us eternal life, and His amazing love. No one can receive this wonderful gifts when they are being condemned to hell without having a chance to experience the love of God. Not once did Jesus meet people and tell them they were sinners going to hell. He saw right through the pain and brokenness and reached out to them right where they were. How can we hope to heal ourselves or reach the lost if we continue to view sin as a one way ticket to hell. We are not going to hell because we keep sinning, we are going to hell if we don’t accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. His love and atonement covers our sins, every single one of them!

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!

Romans 6:15