October 12 2015

The New Age Deception

NewAgeOn a recent weekend, I had the most amazing getaway with my husband! We had not been away alone, without kids, in about 8 years! As soon as I found out we had a sitter for two whole nights, I started planning our trip. I was unbelievably excited, and I wanted it to be super romantic! After much searching around I decided to book a room at a little inn we went to 10 years ago where I first fell in love with my husband. It is a tiny town where a gorgeous river meets the Pacific Ocean. There are other little towns near by, and so I knew that we would have lots of adventures while we were there.

We got to the room late the first night, almost 9 o’clock, because we stopped to have dinner before checking in. We found a cozy restaurant with views of the river and the ocean, where we watched the sun set. It was a marvelous beginning to a romantic weekend! The room was actually a whole house with two stories. We resided mostly on the bottom floor, where there was a bathroom, kitchen, living room and bedroom. Not to mention a private deck with hot tub. The house was very old, probably about 100 years or more, and didn’t look like it received a lot of upkeep. We were excited nonetheless, because hey, we were alone!! You really can’t beat that, no matter how dirty an old house is.

It is funny because the house was kind of eerie. And when I say funny, I mean if you would have asked me a couple of years ago (before I was Christian) I would have told you that the house seemed haunted. There was just something about that old house that really creeped me out. Not to mention the Buddha statue in the back  yard. The next morning we went to the inn’s restaurant for breakfast. I noticed right away an altar in the corner of the room, complete with a large Buddha statue, crystals, and other such things. It reminded me quite a bit of the alter I had back when I was a witch. There was a sign attached about wanting to spread good vibes because there is enough negative in the world already.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

My inner alarm was going off by this point. I knew that being near the ocean there was a chance that we would run into a New Age mindset, but I thought this sleepy little town would not be affected. Oh how wrong I was. This was only the beginning of the New Age movement I would see on our trip. We visited several stores, shops, and boutiques in the surrounding towns, and every single one of them was filled with charms, idols, crystals and other New Age items.

What exactly is the New Age Movement? New Age is a mix of different spiritual and religious practices that each person chooses to adopt for their belief system. It includes things such as witch craft and the occult, shamanism, mysticism, Hinduism, Buddhism, yoga and much more. It is a way to identify who you are spiritually, and to find higher ways of consciousness and thinking, or enlightenment. It’s main purpose is to help a person to connect with their inner being, and with the universe around them. New Age promotes oneness with the universe and the earth, because they are sacred and living beings in which we are connected to, and come from. The New Age movement teaches that everyone is basically good and a part of god. God can be one or many gods, but always an impersonal force that manifests in many ways, such as nature. New Age also teaches that evil does not exist, especially Satan and hell.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Psalm 14:12

I know this all very well, because I spent a good part of my adult life heavily involved with the occult and New Age. I had no idea that I was even involved in New Age though. It started with my interest in the occult (okay interest is not really the right word. I was a practicing witch.) I became very interested in Eastern Religions and everything about them. I studied Buddhism and Hinduism as I tried to understand higher levels of consciousness and loosing myself to be more god-like. I can’t say I really knew what I was doing, but I really wanted to be connected to the higher power I knew I was a part of. It just wasn’t the Christian God. I tried meditating and placing crystals and gem stones on my chakras and opening my third eye. I tried yoga, astrology, tarot cards and reading the I Ching. I did this alongside of my normal practices of casting spells and performing rituals as a witch.

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Romans 1:25

When I stopped actively practicing witch craft I still had my New Age thoughts and practices to lean on. I was ever searching for the Truth of what the meaning of life was, and why I was here. I wanted desperately to connect with whatever higher power there was out there. I worshiped the earth and practiced being a good person and taught my kids about being good people. It was so very important to me to be ‘good’ and do rack up good karma points. I wasn’t sure what was waiting for me after death – possibly reincarnation, but probably just my spirit being released back into the energy I came from.

All of this might sound a little out there to some people, but to others a lot of this (or maybe even a little) is going to resonate as truth for you. You have been searching, and you may even already be a Christian. You have never made a deeper connection with God or maybe were not sure if you really believed that Jesus is God. You have been hurt and alone for so long, that you want to find that deeper connection. And very possibly you had no idea that you had been lured in to the New Age Movement. The New Age is very seductive in its ways. It comes to you wrapped in sweet-smelling incense, the health consciousness of yoga, and the beauty of connecting with your higher self or nature. It is so very appealing! Yet I am here to warn you on how dangerous the New Age Movement is.

Once I became a Christian I spent the first few months coming to understand who God the Father is, and what Jesus had done for me. I received the Holy Spirit and He began to do a great work in me, to help me understand the will of God. So I easily got rid of many of my New Age items. It was a process, because it took me a year to realize that the yoga I had been doing was also part of the Eastern Religions and was actually a form of worshiping other gods and inviting the demonic in. I easily got rid of the more obvious items, such as Buddha statues, books on witch craft, and tarot cards.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:34

It has been two and a half years as I write this that I have come to a glorious relationship with Christ Jesus. He has taken all of the New Age and occult beliefs I instilled in my heart for so long, and redeemed me and filled me with the Truth I so desperately had been searching for! I can’t tell you what comfort I have in the knowledge that I was created for a purpose! By a loving God who knows me by name and loves me deeply enough to die for me. And to know I was created, not evolved from monkeys are some sea sludge (yes I seriously believed that too). And there is no more fear of death for me, but sweet joy in the knowledge that I will be with Jesus in heaven! Hallelujah!

Thanks to the gift of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have been giving great discernment and understanding of the workings of the spiritual realm. Satan meant to destroy me with his New Age deceit, but God has turned it around for my good, by giving me this gifts. I now can see how the enemy has tried to harm me and many others in this world by propagating the New Age lies. The New Age Movement brings death and deception, unlike the Truth that Jesus died to save us from death and hell. What glorious freedom we have in Christ Jesus!

So back to my vacation. In times past I would have been very charmed by the shops with the Hindu gods on the walls, and the incense burning, and the Indian music playing sweetly in the background. I would have felt peaceful and enchanted. Now I felt repulsed for the first time by these things. I could feel the demonic presence emanating from these occult and New Age trinkets and other cursed objects. It only took two steps into a building to register the evil that had been welcomed into each place. At first I was repulsed and afraid. I know how to deal with the demonic and walk in the power and authority Jesus has given me, but it was surprising and overwhelming. But eventually I just felt sad and angry. The New Age Movement has brought death to so many people, while they unwittingly fall prey to its beautifully packaged lies.

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

John 16:13

cloudsI wanted desperately to help these people, to bring Christ into their lives. Jesus is the only True source of Power! So as I walked through the last of the shops I prayed silently or in a whisper to bring the Holy Spirit into these places. To ask God the Father to come in with His power and authority and make Himself known to these lost souls. We need our Father so badly. We just can’t do this life without Him, and we were not meant to. We were created by Him for a loving relationship. We are so passionately loved by Him, and He wants nothing more than to bring each one of His children into His Kingdom!

If you have fallen prey to any of the lies of the New Age, then rejoice now! Rejoice? Yes! Rejoice because your freedom is now here! It is as simple as renouncing all activity you have done that has purposefully or inadvertently involved you in the occult and New Age. Then repent of these things and ask God to forgive you. Which He has already done! Ask your Father to show you anything else you have done unknowingly to practice New Age beliefs and to cleanse you of them all. Then ask Him to bring you the knowledge and wisdom of His Truth. It really is that easy! Your Heavenly Father is here to walk you through this, by way of the Holy Spirit. He loves you and is not at all angry with you for any of these practices you may have done. On the other hand, He is very saddened to see His children be lured into this horrible deception that leads to the path of destruction.

Thank you Father that you have loved us so much that you sent your only Son to die for us. Thank you Jesus for your work on the cross, and for defeating sin and death for each one of us. Thank you Holy Spirit that you live in each one of us, and lead us in all Truth and wisdom. We love you so much, and we ask for your protection from any ways that the enemy might try to deceive us from this day forward. We pray this in Jesus mighty name. Amen!

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

Colossians 2:8


September 14 2015

Signs of Spiritual Attack

spiritual attackDo you find yourself struggling with your life? Maybe it’s just little things like chronic headaches or pains, or being unable to keep up with your bills. Or maybe it is bigger things such as losing your house or your job. Or maybe you have just come to believe life in general is a struggle and there is nothing you can do about. Well that is exactly what the devil wants you to believe. It is true that we will face trials and problems in this world, but it is also true that we have an enemy who is bent on the total destruction of our lives.

Yes that old serpent Satan hates us with such a passion he has made it his life’s purpose to steal our joy and destroy our relationship with God. This my dear friend is spiritual attack. Spiritual attack is designed to throw problems into your life that will bring you down and cause you to lose hope and faith in God. Spiritual attack is also meant to completely stop you or detour you from the purpose that God has placed on your life. You were designed to do great and wonderful things for the Kingdom of God, and whatever the enemy can do to stop you, he will. Even if that means trying to kill you.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

For some people this may sound a little extreme. I can understand that. I lived for the most part of my life in a world where demons and the devil did not even exist. It was as fake as the horror movies I watched on a regular basis. As a believer in Jesus Christ the reality of spiritual attack became painful true for me. Accepting Jesus as my Savior opened up a whole new world of freedom for me – freedom from addiction, depression, being overweight, and generally miserable. But it seemed that every time I really started to get a taste of that freedom things in my life would go horribly wrong. I mean I would start to see real growth in my prayer life and my learning the Word, but then I would sink into a depression or something bad would happen to me. Or even worse, I would lose all desire to pray or even read the Bible at all. I couldn’t understand why. Then despair would creep in because once you experience the awesome love of God in your life, not connecting with it is even worse than not ever knowing Him.

As a new Christian I didn’t really know what spiritual attack was. It was a term not often used in the church I attend, or by the people who I talked to. I began to learn of spiritual attack through my research and study of the Bible. When I started to see the term spiritual attack online while doing research, it resonated within me. Somehow I knew that spiritual attack was a problem I was dealing with. I just wasn’t sure. I had dealt with a life full of problems before. How could I be sure that this wasn’t just normal life happening to me? It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to believe that Jesus brought me out of my past and into a future of more misery. I had began to experience the depth of the love He had for me, and there was no way Jesus died to save me so I could continue to suffer.

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

The Bible is full of promises from God on how He will deliver us, protect us, be our strength, and fight our battles for us. It also tells us of God’s great love for us, and how He will take care of us, and give us hope and a future. How I could read these amazing promises from God and continue to believe that my current state of suffering was right? So I began to research more on spiritual attack. What was it and why in the world was it happening to me? I mean, I am nobody important, right? So why would Satan want to bother with little old me? Just a stay at home mom, living out a new life as a Christian. Wrong! There is not such thing as a nobody to God! All of His children are valuable and loved. And that is exactly what makes the devil sick, sick, sick. Stop believing the lie that you aren’t worth his time – if you are reading this right now it is for a reason.

Once I realized I was indeed under spiritual attack, I wanted to stop it. I figured God would help me and save me. I would sit in times of despair and cry out to Jesus, but nothing would happen. I wouldn’t feel any better. Things that were constant problems weren’t really changing. Why would God just let these things happen to me? I began to have great doubt that God even loved me at all. How could He stand by and watch me suffer and not even help me? Didn’t He have the power to make it all stop?? And here I was, in the midst of a great spiritual battle, and completely unaware because I was so caught up in my personal experience of it.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4

God does not ever leave us or forsake us. God also does not control us or our actions. He gave us free will for a reason. That means we have to make choices. In moments of trial and despair we need to choose to trust in God, no matter what is happening. Just like the disciples in the boat who were upset with Jesus for sleeping in the middle of the storm. “Don’t you even care?” they cried. Jesus was right there and yet they still couldn’t have peace in the midst of the storm. Did Jesus have the power to calm the storm? Absolutely. Does that mean Jesus should always calm the storm? No. Jesus did not come to save us from every storm, but instead to teach us how to conquer and command the storm, just as He does.

It took months and months in this journey to learn that I too have the power to stand against spiritual attack. The devil does not have to have his way with me. It takes training to learn to see when you are under spiritual attack. Once you realize you are under spiritual attack there are tools that God has given us to help us fight against it. The number one tool that God has given us as a weapon in spiritual attack is Himself. We must trust Him and believe that He is there for us when we ask Him to help us, even if we don’t see a change in that moment. We must walk by faith with Him to know that ultimately God is in control, and we are dearly and deeply loved by our Father, who sees us and hears our cries.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1-2

Once you begin to recognize spiritual attack remember that Jesus has given you all power and authority to trample of snakes and serpents. Ask for God to send angels to protect you. Put on your armor and learn how to use it against spiritual attack. Fill yourself with the Truth of the Word. Jesus Himself used scripture to fight the lies of Satan! Ask others to pray for you, even if it feels weird or foolish. We were made to do this together, not alone. If the enemy can get one sheep separated from the flock, they are more vulnerable. Pray against spiritual attack to break and bind whatever is coming against you. Tell the enemy to leave you in Jesus name. You have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you! Every knee will bow to Jesus one day, because He is Lord of all, and even the demons know this. They must obey God, and you have God living inside of you. That means when you command demons to leave or stop what they or doing, with faith, they have to obey.

Count it as pure joy when you recognize you are under spiritual attack, because this is a time to learn and grow in your relationship with your Father. He wants to teach you how to fight the spiritual attack of the devil and show you what a victorious life in Christ looks like. You may be thinking that you will never experience that point in your life – that the spiritual attack you are under is so great and so strong you just can’t fight it. I implore you to seek out help from experienced prayer warriors and deliverance ministers who can help you in this walk. The day will come when you will see spiritual attack coming at you and not even blink an eye as you cast it off like a dirty pair of shoes.

Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. John 14:12

angel-645591_1280Finally after feeling like I was fighting a loosing battle with so much spiritual attack coming at me, I can now easily see it’s effects and call on the power of the Holy Spirit to command it to leave and ask God to send me protection. But most importantly I take a great step of faith in believing in my Daddy to show up when I ask Him too. I have grown with great leaps and bounds, and trust me my dear friend, you will too. God has made you for such a time as this!

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. Colossians 1:16



August 10 2015

Witness to a Spiritual Deliverance

amazing-736885_640I have to admit, my husband and I have not always had the best relationship. When we first met, I actually did not like him. At all. In fact, he annoyed me. I actually love to tell this story, because now we are very close and in love. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine life without him! It was a miracle from God that moved my heart toward him in a time when I did not even believe in God or even in love. We started dating when we were just friends and I was far from ready for a relationship. I had just come out of a very abusive 5 year relationship and I wanted nothing more to do with relationships ever again.

My husband was quite determined however, that I would be his. In just a few short months time we were living together due to unforeseen circumstances. Yet still, I did not have deep feelings for him. The deepest feelings I had at that time were of fear and the need to protect myself from being hurt again. My husband had also come out of an abusive relationship, and so we both had a lot of baggage as we entered into a hesitant commitment. There were many times where we would get into explosive arguments and even come to physical blows with each other.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Again, I can only say by a miracle of God we stayed together and within a year were married. It was not that we didn’t love each other, but we were just two broken, messed up people, who had no clue on how to deal with relational problems. My husband had a pretty bad temper when I first met him. And there were some times that he even scared me. Those memories are long gone now, as we have been through immense healing by the power of the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet he still seemed to carry anger with him, even into his walk with Jesus. It bothered me a lot. There were also some other things that he carried over, such as his lack of communication. I often felt that he didn’t listen to me, and there would be many times that I would talk to him and he just wouldn’t even respond. It was a huge point of contention for us, and it caused many, many fights.

During the past two years as our walk in the Christian faith, I have spent a lot of time seeking our spiritual deliverance. Within the first year I began to learn about spiritual attack and the reality of demons in my life. These were things that I would not have even believed in before, yet my life was being turned upside down by many physical and emotional ailments. My husband too had other problems outside of his anger and communication, such as bad back and neck pain that would not ever go away, and just falling asleep at Bible studies. I really wanted him to also seek out spiritual deliverance, but he just didn’t seem to think he was worth the healing of spiritual deliverance. I tried pushing him into seeking it out, as I was, but he would not. Finally I let it go, and continued on my own path to spiritual deliverance.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Finally after many prayer and healing sessions I had a huge turn in my spiritual healing! I met with a spiritual deliverance ministry that went toe to toe with the head demon living inside of me. I learned so much about why I had continued physical and emotional ailments that I just could not be healed of, not matter what I did. And at the end of this amazing prayer session when the spiritual deliverance ministers asked the Holy Spirit to speak to me, there was a clear message directed to my husband. The message of the Holy Spirit was that it was now my husband’s turn to experience true spiritual deliverance and healing! I was beyond excited, and so began to process of getting my husband ready for his own spiritual deliverance appointment!

The spiritual deliverance ministry requires a short questionnaire to be filled out before the appointment is made. This in itself posed a problem, because I knew it would be very difficult to get my husband to sit down and fill it out. It took about two weeks for him to answer the questions, but as soon as he did I emailed it in and we set an appointment for just a few days later. My husband was nervous after seeing my spiritual deliverance. The reality that he probably had demons living inside of him was intimidating to say the least. I can’t tell you the obstacles we had to overcome to make it to that appointment. But with faithfulness and obedience to the Lord, we made it.

“And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” Psalm 50:15

I have to admit I was quite excited to be on the other end of the spiritual deliverance this time. This ministry was quite experienced and capable, and I was eager to see my husband experience new-found freedom. I was also interested to see what ways the enemy has tried to oppress him from his Godly calling in life. The ministry team began by having my husband read a prayer that helped him to repent for past sins and any right he had given over to demons unknowingly through that sin. They then went right into interrogating the head demon in charge. The way this works is they command the demon to become subject to them by the power and authority of Jesus. This way the demon has to answer and do so truthfully.

I watched and listened for over two hours as they questioned this head demon. It was a very straightforward process and we found out answers to many things that had seemed to hinder my husband for so many years. For instance, his anger. It came from a blood sacrifice done over him by his father in a Masonic ceremony. My husbands grandfather was a Mason, and it went up for many generations . The Masons are a polytheistic religion that incorporates many pagan rituals into it. This rituals are often done for power, fame, and wealth. Children are often dedicated to one of their many gods to gain these great benefits. These rituals can include blood-letting, homosexual acts, and child sacrifice. This masonry opens you up to a spirit of anger, rage, hate, chaos and violence.

This head demon also gave specific information on a relationship curse that was over my husband, that caused the breakdown of all relationships. This curse hindered my husband from communicating with people he loved. Wow. That was huge for me, because for so many years I held anger and resentment for time times I felt that my husband was refusing to talk to me or listen to me. This demon also admitted to times when he and his minions tried to kill my husband. Such as causing him to fall asleep while cooking, which led to his stove catching on fire. Or causing him to drive drunk so he would get into an accident.

Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Luke 10:19

I know many people do not believe in demons, or the fact that they can indeed reside inside of a Christian. However this is another lie of the enemy. You can indeed have the Holy Spirit indwelling in your own spirit, and still have a demon inside of you as well. If you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, demons cannot go into your human spirit. They can however come into your physical being and once we give them rights or permission unknowingly, they are allowed to stay. Some may say this is crazy or impossible, but I tell you the truth. There is absolutely nowhere in scripture that says a Christian cannot have demons inside of them. Christians cannot be possessed – that is when a demon can be in your very spirit – there is a difference.

spiritual deliveraceSince this amazing spiritual deliverance my husband is indeed a new man with a new-found freedom. Before where he felt unable to read the Bible, he now is reading it every single day. This demon made it clear that he wanted to keep my husband from the Word and the Truth! That the Truth of God’s Word is power! My husband has been released from all back and neck pain as well – which the demon admitted was 100% demonic. My husband was walking around in demonic oppression, suffering for so many years but was completely unaware. And so are many other people in this world. We are living in the enemies domain and he hates us more than anything. His passion in life is to destroy people, because we are made in God’s image. Do not be fooled by the lies of Satan – he is a prowling lion waiting to devour you.

That evening they brought to him many who were oppressed by demons, and he cast out the spirits with a word and healed all who were sick. Matthew 8:16

If you are reading this and you are full of disbelief or even disgust at such notions, I completely understand. There was a season in my life (ok more like most of my life) where I did not even believe in Satan or demons! And that was while I was a practicing witch! It was only through my seeking God with all of my heart, mind and soul, and asking for truth and asking for healing, that He began to reveal the truth of demonic oppression in this world. For me it was a slow journey, because it took some time for me to really believe that demons were in my life and wanting to torment me. I often asked myself if I was crazy, because this is not normal every day stuff in the US today. However, if you were to research other countries, the presence of demons is common knowledge and widely accepted.

Does this mean we should fear what the devil is doing to us at this very moment? Absolutely not! We should stand up and fight! We have been equipped with knowledge, power and authority to trample on the serpent! We have the Armor of God to protect us, and many accounts of Jesus Himself casting our demons from His people. Even the powers and principalities of darkness must bow at the name of Jesus! Be thankful for this wonderful things that God has given us, because He has created you for such a time as this! To rise up, as a mighty warrior for His Kingdom! To proclaim freedom from oppression, to release the captives from bondage and to walk in a partnership with the Holy Spirit.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Luke 4:18-19

I am so thankful for all the healing work God has done during this spiritual deliverance. My husband is a wonderful man whom I love with all of my heart. He is an amazing father and I thank God for Him every day. I also thank him for allowing me to share his testimony from my point of view for the purpose of advancing the Kingdom of God.

April 16 2015

The Seduction of Magic

magicThere is a battle waging for your soul, right in this very moment. Whether you have any idea at all, there is an enemy lurking in your life, and pitting the powers of hell against you. Sounds crazy, huh? Yeah, I would have thought so too a few years ago. As a matter of fact, I did not even believe in Hell or the Devil. That is exactly what he wanted though. To convince me that all the lies he spun in my mind were true. Once I became a Christian I started to read the Bible. And the Bible makes it very clear that Hell and Satan are very real indeed . And because I choose to believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, I had to believe that things did exist, whether I could see them or not.

And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:15

As a brand new Christian I had very little understanding of the spiritual realm and how it worked, even though I had entered in to it many times during my time with the occult. Little did I know, all those years I was opening up the door to Satan and welcoming him in. I had no intention of doing so; only intentions of doing good. You see as a witch it was very important to never harm anyone or anything, and to never use black magic, which would be of the devil. Another lie I believed. All magic comes from the power of evil and darkness, and is a counterfeit of God’s power, which is holy and pure. You are literally harnessing the powers of darkness to do magic and other occult and new age activities.

Ouija boards, tarot cards, divination, crystals, chakras, mediums, psychics, astrology, numerology, palm reading, yoga– these are just a few of the examples of participating in the occult. Many people have dabbled in these seemingly innocent things all in good fun. I got my start into the occult as a pre-teen when my sister made a ouija board one night. I had no idea what it even was, but when it began to move on its own it opened my eyes to a whole new world. It was scary, but intriguing. That was just the beginning of my fascination with things of darkness and mystery. Soon I was obsessed with vampires, witches, checking my horoscope daily and trying to understand astrology and how to predict how my life would go.

It seemed innocent enough, but it was really a path leading me straight into darkness. I began to desire more, to  fantasize about a life in darkness as a witch, or to meet a vampire lover. It sounds so silly now, but as a young girl it was very real to me. I wanted to wield magical powers and have a life that was so much more than the mundane and depressing one I was living. I wanted to escape into a world of magic. It was not hard to do as I spent my time watching movies and reading books and writing my own stories. I could not see the bigger picture of how romanticized these things was so very dangerous to me. I could not see I was entertaining evil or how it was enticing me into a seductive life that was far away from God. Of course at that point in time I cared very little for God.

It is very easy for me to look back now as see how this fascination as a young teen drew me into the world of the occult as an adult. A world that held on fast to my heart and wrapped itself around everything that I believed. I can see now, in hindsight, how dangerous walking into the world of the occult was, and the repercussions of it that I still am dealing with so many years later. At the time it was just innocent and fun; a fantasy. I can see now how it was no accident that drew me into this darkness, but someone with an evil intent for my life. An intent to steal me away from the life I was created to live.

It was not until about a year ago, when I realized that spiritual attack was real and it was happening to me. I began to have horrible brain fog (confusion, memory loss, inability to focus and understand things). At first I just thought there was something wrong with me. I began to seek treatment for my problem, desperate to find out what was wrong with me. But as time passed I would seem to get better and then I would just get worse. More symptoms began to appear. I sought out prayer from healing ministries and would begin to get better, only to get worse again. It made no sense, and I could only come to the conclusion that is was not just a physical problem, but a spiritual problem.

Why would Satan want to keep me oppressed in brain fog? Because when I had brain fog, I could not read the Bible, I could not pray for myself, I could not encourage and pray for others as I had become accustomed too. During this year my spiritual gifts began to blossom and God was moving me in amazing ways. But with horrible brain fog, those spiritual gifts were of little use to anyone who I might help. It is like being held captive in your own mind.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

It was through many different prayer sessions that God began to reveal to me truths that had been hidden from me by the lies of the enemy. Lies I had completely bought into. Satan had been working hard to oppress me since I was a young girl. He wanted to turn me far away from the path God had before me, and it worked. I fell into a life of drugs and the occult. But Jesus is so much bigger than that, and His plans would be accomplished. I was saved by Jesus and now here I was, still held captive by the devil. How miserable it is to find the most amazing saving grace and mercy of God, to know Him, to experience Him, and then to be cast into darkness all over again!

Do not think you are exempt from the schemes and attacks of the devil. He is a hunter, and you are his prey. He knows all your weaknesses, your fears, your guilt and your shame. He knows your past, and the darkness inside that haunts you. He will use all of it against you, to feed a never-ending string of lies to you so he can keep you in some form of bondage. Many of us are captive to a stronghold in some area of our lives, and Satan is all to happy to keep us there. He will place temptations before us and try to keep us distracted.

The New Age Movement has only grown in the past 20 years since I became involved in it. It has seeped into many Christian homes, with seasoned Christians falling prey to its seductive ways. All Satan needs is an open door into your life, and he can begin to bring his demons into your home. He can start with something as simple as a TV show or music, and once you let that in, it opens the door to more. God has warned us many times not to have anything to do with things that take us away from Him. It is a subtle trap, waiting for someone to stumble into it.

Psalm 91: 1-6

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
 You will not fear the terror of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
    nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

November 5 2014

Spiritual Hunger

During the last few months in our rental home, before we couldn’t pay the rent anymore and had to move, I remember feeling the stirrings of my spirit within me. I hadn’t had time to “do” anything spiritual or to nurture my spiritual self. And I was beginning to really feel it. I missed that connection I felt with the earth and the universe. That bigger picture of being a part of the universe and everything in it, and it all being connected by the power of love. I just had this emptiness in me – not the normal depression emptiness, but an emptiness in my spirit. I was hungry for more, but I didn’t know how to get filled.

I began looking around for witches covens that might have children in it. I wanted to be a part of a community of like minded people. I wanted to get back into my pagan roots and teach my children about it. Witches are a little bit out there though, and there were some things I didn’t want to expose my kids to. Like, naked adults out in the moonlight. But, that’s just me.spiritual path

One of our neighbors had a son not the same age as my second son. They were great friends and the family was Christian. I tried not to hold it against them, which was easy because they didn’t talk about it much. The husband had a brother that came over often and he was much more outspoken about his faith. He talked about his God in a way that sparked something inside me. He would talk about having problems with people and praying for them and praying for blessings for them, and then the problems with them would just disappear. I was fascinated at the thought of being able to resolve problems with people, and in such a positive way. It seemed I was always having problems with people in my life, and they would often get out of my control.

I started to ponder going to a Christian church. The brother gave me a Bible and I thought about reading it. I had never really even cracked the spine of a Bible before, except a Mormon Bible my grandma gave me as a youth. All I knew is the Bible represented a lot of things I considered to be completely false. I can’t even remember now if I read that Bible or not, but we did try out a service at the brothers church one Sunday. At first I liked it, but then things just went wrong for me. I ended up leaving very angry because I was stuck in this little room with all the other mothers with small children and couldn’t hear the sermon. I felt resentful about it and started a fight with my husband. The whole place just made me uncomfortable. Needless to say we never went back. I was done with all that nonsense.

Except I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted to go to church. Just not a Christian church. I wanted a spiritual life again, and I wanted it desperately! Then I heard about the Unitarian Universalist church. There was one a half hour away from our house and I asked my husband about trying it out. He was pretty reluctant, but still open to trying it. It had grow up going to church, but never really found God. I think he wanted to know more about God and what life was really about though, and that was why he was open to trying this out.

The UU Church was very different than the Mormon church I had been to as a child. It was very free and people were dressed casually, and their were flags from all the different religions all over the main meeting room. It was just a feeling of being open to everyone and every religion, not judging or saying there is only one way. I really liked that. The pastor had long hair and gave the aura of an ex hippie. I felt like I could fit in. But it was just so far and it was hard for me to separate from my baby to leave him in child care. We tried going on and off for a few months, but the distance was far and it just ended up not being worth all the work.

I didn’t forget about it though. When we moved out of our rental we had to move in with my parents for awhile. Our lives were upside down once again, but this time moving back in with my parents didn’t depress me. I had a husband I loved and a family that was solid. I was actually somewhat happy. As happy as I could have been anyway. We found another rental very close to my parents, and that neighborhood was very close to the UU Church we had attended before. So I asked my husband about going back and he said sure. He had liked it too.

So we tried going regularly and it was nice for a short time. The older kids got to go to class while we sat through the sermon. We felt like we were getting some food for our spirits and it was uplifting; refreshing. Then summer came and they stopped doing sermons and just had speakers on different non spiritual topics every week. I felt that black hole inside me just aching once again, and realized it wasn’t ever really being filled at this place. My husband agreed, and it was easy to stop going because the kids didn’t even like it.

I still wanted a community and a spiritual place to connect with others. I kept searching and finally found the Unity church. Their motto is “many paths, one god”. It sounded nice and it was not too far from our home. My husband agreed to try this one out as well. I think inside he was searching for more too, but he is not a super vocal type of man. This church was held in a community college auditorium. It was even more different than my experiences with church than the UU church. They had a band and they played a mix of spiritual sounding songs and just regular songs you might hear on the radio. People were flowing with love and smiling and wanted to shake your hand. It really weirded me out, because I was not used to people wanting to be so friendly towards me. On the contrary, my experiences with people were always quite negative.

This church taught about all religions as well. They would even talk about Jesus in the Sunday school classes. I wasn’t totally against it, but I was interested to know who this Jesus fellow was. In my house the name of Jesus was a swear word, and I used it a lot. We went every week and enjoyed it, again for a short time. I just started feeling very negatively about it and even dreaded Sundays and having to try to get up early and race over there. So again we decided to stop going.

Could I ever find what I was looking for? Could I fill this deep need inside me to connect with a community and feed my soul? Why was it so hard! I was grieving inside for the loss of a life so spirit filled and yearning so desperately for something more. I knew there was more out there – I had already experienced it. Why was it that it just had to go away now that I had kids? It just didn’t make any sense.

The road I was traveling was like an overgrown path where the way is starting to become hard to see. It was covered with weeds and rocks, but you just know at one time it was smooth and beautiful to walk along. Now it was difficult to tread and you weren’t quite sure where it was going to wind up. I was lost and confused and really didn’t even know where I was going anymore.

Have you ever had that feeling before? That longing inside of you, like your spirit is just so hungry to be fed? But you don’t even know why you feel that way, or how to fill it? You are not alone, friend. Thousands of people all over the world are just like you, seeking and longing, but so lost and confused. It is a dark place to be in; feeling so empty in a dry and parched land. We were meant to be fed with the bread of life and nourished with the living water. To never hunger again, but to receive an endless supply of food for our spirit that would fatten us up. Food that would help us to grow healthy and strong and defeat depression, anxiety, fear, shame.

We were made for this deep connection to be filled. We are not made to live on just bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of Jesus. And He gives this gift free of charge. If you are thirsty, come. If you are hungry, come. He is inviting you to come nearer, to dine with him and be satisfied. All you have to do is ask.






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