Soon after I became a Christian I got quite swept away with the charismatic movement of the church. I remember the first time I was talking to a friend and heard that Christians were laying hands on people and healing their bodies through prayer. I had read about such things in the Bible, but I had no idea they could exist in this day and age! I was so excited and I felt a desperation to know more about it.
Soon I began going to a “hearing and healing” night at a local non-denominational church that leaned more towards Pentecostal. The first night I was there I felt the Spirit of God move over me so powerfully as people were praying over me but it left me feeling completely drained. I had never to my knowledge had that kind of encounter with the Holy Spirit, so I didn’t know what to expect. I went home and passed out but woke up the next morning exhilarated.
I continued to go to this service as well as seeking out others like it, even traveling up to an hour away to find one. I became addicted to getting healed through prayer from my many ailments and started following speakers and churches that were leaders of the charismatic movement. I watched as people retold stories of praying for strangers on the street and healing them or having gold dust fall from the sky, or have mana from heaven appear in their hands.
For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.
Matthew 24:24
When I heard these stories I felt compelled to be a part of this movement, of these people. They clearly were living a life by the Spirit, and their lives were filled with excitement and free from oppression. Who wouldn’t want to live a life like that!? I would get so stirred up with this stories that I would feel sick inside and anxious because I needed to be out there living this kind of life, but I was only hearing about it on TV.
I felt like a huge loser, so I gave myself over to the movement as much as possible, all the meanwhile desperately hoping this was my avenue to finding healing for myself. At this time I was suffering greatly with depression, anger, rage, physical pain, brain fog, and much more. I just knew that it would be at one of these incredible churches or meetings I would finally get peace and rest.
It was not to be so, however, because no matter how many times someone prayed over me, or got discernment to help me, I could not get better. I would oftentimes get better temporarily, only to literally get worse days later. I truly wanted to give my whole life to Jesus and I was trying with everything I was. How could God continue to allow me to suffer so greatly when I had given over my whole life to Him?
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.
1 John 4:1
After about a year of following the charismatic movement, including relying heavily on the worship bands from their churches for praise, I finally came to a crossroads in my healing journey. I had found out that I was a survivor of Satanic ritual abuse and I had to make a choice to either continue on my path of healing or completely walk away from my faith. It would have been easy to walk away truthfully, but I had come too far to give up.
My life began to revolve around my weekly therapy sessions to help deprogram my dissociative alters and reconnect them back to the part of my connection to Christ. It was an incredibly long journey, but after about a year I had yet another mind-blowing discovery. Before I was saved, I was inducted into a secret coven within a Christian church. I had gone to this Christian church with Christians and non-Christians and participated in Satanic rituals there.
That wasn’t the most shocking part of my revelation. The church in which I was involved with was the same church I had gone to for the healing and hearing nights. The same church I went to month after month for nearly a year, looking for hope and healing. My mind was reeling from the discovery. How could it be? It was just the beginning of the Holy Spirit blowing the doors wide open to the truth of the Charismatic Movement in my life.
But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.
1 Peter 2:1
At that point, I did not associate that church with the Charismatic Movement in general. I was just trying to disconnect and understand what had happened in my past. I was getting very involved in another Charismatic church at the same time, getting swept up in the promises and hope that seemed to ooze out of every word the pastor spoke. This church wasn’t just a church, but it was named after the famous worship band that I had been revering for the past two years.
This church seemed like a life-giving miracle after having left our previous church home and I was ecstatic to be a part of this movement. Week after week I once again felt this desperation to be a part of this church and what they were doing in the world. I wanted to be on the stage speaking and helping others alongside the other leaders. I knew God had called me to heal people through my testimony and I was positive this was the place I was going to do it.
Yet what I noticed is that those type of thoughts were all I could think about. I soon became obsessed with myself and how I could make a place there and how God was going to use them in my life. I fought as best I could against these thoughts but while I was at church the longing and desperation were more than I could bear. We became more involved in the church, joining small groups and going to worship nights, but my dissatisfaction only grew.
Thus says the Lord of hosts: “Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you, filling you with vain hopes. They speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.
Jeremiah 23:16
In the meantime, I was learning more and more about my involvement with Satanism through my dissociative alters, as well as the effects that Satanism has on me when I am exposed to it. I started to realize that what was happening at this church was not Jesus, but Lucifer. Lucifer is the god of self and the god of pride. I wanted to deny the truth, but the torment I felt every time I went to was awful.
We moved to another Pentecostal church because I was determined to stay at a church that held my beliefs of speaking in tongues, freedom of movement in worship and gifts of the Spirit. I wanted yet again to try to find my place of leadership in a church. God was moving on my ministry and it was growing rapidly. I had offers for interviews, and more and so I knew that I needed to also be established with a home church.
However, I still felt restless and I could never quite fit in. It wasn’t until we realized we had befriended to of the members from the coven I was previously in at the Christian church that I knew it was time to leave. The church no longer felt safe to me, but a place filled with corruption and lies. I still did not connect any of this with the Charismatic Movement and continue to follow the most influential people.
For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.
2 Corinthians 11:13-15
That is until I found out that I was actually a part of Satanic rituals at one of the most influential churches in the Charismatic Movement. When I was in my early adulthood I had attended several Satanic rituals at this church, with the pastor leading them. I had no memory of this because all the Satanic rituals I have been a part of I have dissociated from and have no conscious memory of. When the Holy Spirit revealed this information to me, I was stunned.
I had been following and really I had been worshiping all of these people from the Charismatic Movement, and yet they were a part of the deep vein of Satanism that runs through America’s church today. How could that be? I felt so deceived, so disgusted by much denial I had been living in. I thought I was trying to be a part of the life of the Spirit, but instead, I was being tricked by more of Satan’s lies.
God was not angry at me for being caught up in any of this. He understood the reasons why I fell into their deception. I was connected to the Charismatic Movement through the Satanic rituals I was inducted to as a child. It wasn’t that I was a blind fool or evil, it was just my dissociative parts running my body to continually connect to the Luciferian Agenda hidden in the church. Even though my heart wanted Jesus more than anything, my dissociation was still leading me astray.
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.
2 Timothy 4:3-4
I was still on a journey of discovery though, and I hadn’t given up completely on the Charismatic Movement. Just because a few churches were corrupt didn’t take out the whole movement for me. A good friend and I decided to go to a couple of conferences a few hours away from where we lived. We were going to drive to one to hear a speaker from the Charismatic Movement and then go to the next for a time of equipping for the prophetic.
This was the weekend that destroyed all of my hope for the Charismatic Movement to be of the Holy Spirit. I have talked about my time at this church where I saw Lucifer himself in the midst of the crowd. He was being worshiped and adored by the masses as though he was Jesus Christ. And indeed he appeared as an angel of light, and even I was deceived momentarily. I felt so compelled to be near him I had thoughts of throwing myself off of the balcony I was sitting in.
All I wanted was to leave but I felt unable too. When we finally did leave I felt so sick and oppressed I could barely function. My friend drove us to our hotel room so we could prepare for the next day of equipping at another Charismatic church. What followed in the next two days was enough to send me running as far and as fast as I could from church and the Charismatic Movement.
And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.
1 Peter 2:3
The worship band played more of the soulish music that created an atmosphere of self-worship and the equipping session was actually disguised witchcraft. I felt oppressed and tormented for two days straight, yet I thought I could be strong and see it through. I wasn’t until the end of the last day I saw an angel standing behind me with his sword to my neck that I realized I needed to leave immediately.
I didn’t find any relief until we got out of the area code where this church was located that I felt relief because this fallen angel was the territorial spirit of the area. I was so disappointed once again because this church was another forerunner of the Charismatic Movement with a well-known prophet as the co-pastor. I looked up to and wanted to be like this person, but I learned a valuable lesson from this experience nonetheless.
I had put my faith in the gods of man instead of the God who created the heavens and the earth. Not because I don’t love Jesus, or because God isn’t good enough or powerful enough, but because I have been indoctrinated into Lucifer’s lies, as we all have. I know it might sound shocking to some to think they have any level of indoctrination into the Antichrist Agenda of Lucifer, but if you live in this world it is impossible to escape it.
For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.
Jude 1:4
Lucifer has implanted himself firmly in every aspect of popular culture, as well as the Christian church, and many other aspects of our every day lives. We have to be willing to open our eyes to see the truth of how deep the influence of the Antichrist Agenda runs in our lives because if we do not, we are going to be recruited in his army. It is what he lives for; to take us captive and turn us from God, and to use Christians against the God they love.
God is not angry at us for being deceived, but He is calling us out of our deception now, while there is still time. The day will come when we are forced to chose sides, and if we are unknowingly following the antichrist, we will continue to follow him right into hell. God is not willing for even one of His beloved children to perish, but we must use our free will and discernment to walk out of the darkness of a corrupt church system.
Everyone is looking for a place to call home, but right now we need to make our home in God alone. He is where we are safe, in the midst of a perverse and crooked world that seeks to corrupt us at every turn. When we hide in Him, we can be sure He will never steer us wrong.
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.
Colossians 2:8