When I started YouTube several years ago, I had no intention of having a full-time channel. I was focused on my blog because I really enjoy writing, but I soon felt led to share my testimony on YouTube as well. Before I knew it I was sucked into becoming a “YouTuber” and began posting weekly, and even bi-weekly on my channel. While I enjoyed posting videos and talking about issues that were important to me, I also struggled quite a bit behind the scenes.
Once I began connecting the dots of my life to Satanic ritual abuse, a lot of things changed for me. I lost a lot of my daily functioning as I began to dive deeply into the pain I’d been living with my whole life. In the past, I had done a good job of denying my misery, but once I acknowledged it, the agony flooded my mind and left little else. It took a lot of work to do very small things, like cook dinner, or make my husband his lunch.
I was also homeschooling at that time and had to send my children to a private school for two years while I tried to cope with my new reality. In the beginning, making YouTube videos, while very taxing, did bring me a lot of hope. It helped me to focus on Jesus and helped me to find a creative outlet. However, the attack that came, both from my dissociative alters and from outside sources, was overwhelming.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
James 4:10
I have had so many dissociative alters set up inside of me through extreme trauma to create me into who Lucifer wants me to be. If he could control me as a child, he could continue to control me for the rest of my life. He convinces these occult loyal dissociative alters to choose either power, fame, control, success, and worship or torture that leads to death.
Over and over again as a child, I was programmed to believe I needed to be worshipped and have control because I would gain success and fame through it. Lucifer always gives you the choice between two evils, making evil look good because it saves you from the pain and torture. He takes your soul to hell and back again and forces you to sign documents in your own blood, giving rights to your soul and your future generations to Lucifer until you have nothing left.
I never wanted to be worshipped or be famous any more than I wanted to be tortured and abandoned by my parents. I wanted what every normal child desires in life: love, acceptance, grace, and nurturing A child knows nothing of fame and fortune outside of what they are told. Even then it’s such a hard concept to understand. Yet when you are forced to worship Lucifer and choose this path over death, what choice do you have?
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
So when I stepped onto a platform like YouTube, it was the perfect platform for Lucifer to use me. What better way to spread his Luciferian Antichrist agenda than through Christians? It is the perfect disguise. While the Christian YouTuber speaks the truth and worships God, their dissociative alters are casting spellings and weaving in lies that people cannot even discern.
YouTube is a soul-sucking machine backed by a high-level entity. This spirit lures people in so that it can gain access and authority over your life through your channel. As you begin to post content and interact with people, you begin to seek higher and higher levels of fame and prosperity. Through this desire, you are being used to call out other people’s human spirits so that you can use them to harness more personal power that is actually just more power for the enemy.
If you are already connected to the occult (which many people are) then you have already begun the work to become an ascended master. An ascended master is a person who gives up part of their humanity to Lucifer in order to become “superhuman” and to ascend to the highest levels of the Illuminati. Essentially you are trying to become like Lucifer and be God. You don’t have to consciously know you are doing it, but when you aspire to grow your channel and be known you are consciously agreeing with the Antichrist agenda already planted inside of you.
For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.
John 12:43
This is what has been happening for me, even though I was working every week, multiple times a week to break free from the occult. I had so much of my soul connected to darkness throughout my life that it is impossible to say a few prayers or make a few renunciations and break them all off. I am working on year four of breaking free from the occult and I am just now in a place where I can say more of my soul is connected to Jesus than Lucifer.
Over the past few years, I have found several times where I had dissociative alters set up to use my YouTube channel for Lucifer. I have had dissociative alters who were supposed to program people who watch my videos, or alters who were doing witchcraft on viewers, or alters who call out other people’s alters to follow me in darkness. These alters did not fully succeed because I have been willing to hear Jesus tell me these things were happening, so I could heal these alters and repent of what was done. Not only that, but Jesus has assured me He has stood in the gap between my alters and my viewers, covering us all.
However, as much freedom as I have gotten from the occult, I am still struggling to protect myself from avenues the enemy can use against me. I have done massive healing to the Antichrist structure set up in me to keep me connected to darkness, but I am not done and there are still dissociative alters that if given the chance will try to grab for more power. Any platform where people gather together to share information is a platform used for the Antichrist agenda. That is why I had to leave all social media.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:8
I have tried to back off from posting on my YouTube channel as a way of protecting myself from being exposed to potential threats or ways to connect to darkness, but it is not enough. I constantly feel the call or pull to post more videos, connect with people through chat, or just find more ways to connect with people through YouTube. Even watching other YouTubers can trigger the programming to come connect through YouTube.
When the pull comes it is so hard to resist. It can get very emotional for me as I struggle with feelings of needing to drive more traffic to my channel, or figure out how to please people to make them watch more. Yet I always hear the Holy Spirit council me that more is not better for me, and connecting with people through YouTube actually causes me harm. All I have to do is read comments and I have people’s human spirits coming through and into my body.
In the past when I would have human spirits coming through the internet to me I couldn’t tell. Now when it happens I get physically ill. I cannot handle it anymore and I cannot expose myself to this potential threat any longer. I cannot tell you how hard it is to just post a video and leave it. I constantly think about putting comments back on my videos, and I have been posting on my YouTube community page instead. It is just another avenue where human spirits can use to get to me, and I am desperate to be free of this.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
John 3:30
YouTube uses people for its own devices. It is a power-hungry, soul-sucking machine that devours people and it’s only going to continue to grow. I can’t even watch a Christian YouTuber without feeling attacked by their dissociative alters that are reaching out to connect with me to merge our power sources together. Especially YouTubers who are former New Age/Occultists.
I am not against YouTube nor am I counseling anyone to stop watching it. It is not my job to tell you whether or not a YouTuber is safe to watch or even which videos are harmless. Every person has to live their life by the Spirit of God, allowing Him to lead and guide the way for them. If Jesus asks you to stop watching YouTube, then it is up to you to obey Him, and not me.
Instead of allowing my YouTube channel to control me and demand it’s way in my life, I have decided to let it be what it should have been instead: a supplemental form of finding more information for my blog. At this time I am going to discontinue making videos and let you enjoy what I have already worked for. It has been a long process of letting go and disconnecting from Luciferian power sources in order to be able to walk away. Someday I may be in a place where I will make videos again. Until then, I am starting a podcast that I hope to add to weekly. I so thankful for everyone who has supported this ministry and I want you to know that I work diligently to make sure that everything I have posted is free from witchcraft, programming, and human spirits by constantly bringing it to Jesus for prayer.
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
1 Peter 1:24-25