I really feel that when I decided to give my life to God, that an amazing transformation took place inside of me. And not just inside, but outside. I am a totally new person. Well, I do have things I am still working on, but God has done an extreme makeover on me over the past year.
My desire to please God only grew as I began to draw closer to Him. As I began to read Christian books I started thinking in more biblical minded terms on things like what I ate, how I dressed and how I parented. I was so new to this Christian life – only about 6 months in – so it’s not that I had a lot of knowledge about the Bible or living a godly life. But I just had this deep desire within me to please God. To live a life that would show Him that He was important to me and I was willing to put God above other things. So I started covering up the cleavage that I was so proud to show off before. Because I didn’t need to have men staring at me to be beautiful or meaningful. I had gotten used to getting approval from my looks, but I started to see that I had a deeper beauty that was begging to be let out. And that led me to realize how unhappy with myself I really was.
I decided for the first time in 20 years I was going to stop dying my hair. It was another way that I was hiding behind this beauty facade that I had created in my mind. I was ugly the way I was and I need to hide it with hair dye. But that is saying that God went wrong when He created me. And I knew that was a lie. So I cut my hair as short as I could stand it so I could cut all the dye out of it and regrow it out. It was a bold move for me to sport a pixie cut! I had always had long hair before.
Next I had to examine my health. During my last two pregnancies I had gained a lot of weight. I mean like 100 pounds. I slowly had lost about 50 pounds over the course of 3 years, but I was still very overweight. And being only 5’3″, the extra 50 pounds was very uncomfortable for me. I actually just hated myself and told myself often how fat I was. Now I realized I was just unhealthy. And I wanted to be more for the God I loved. I didn’t want to keep eating fast food 5 or 6 times a week, and desert every night because it felt good. I wanted to be a healthy temple of God that I was made to be. So one of the books I was reading inspired me to try to get healthy.
So I started by just trying to eat smaller portions and less sugar. I started to lose weight and it felt great. It was really motivated too. That led to exercising, which I really hadn’t done in a very long time. Exercising was exhausting because I was so out of shape. But I kept remember who I was doing this for – God. The one who sacrificed it all for me deserved my all. Soon I was working out 6 days a week and doing an intense video that just about killed me. As a matter of fact after the first time I did the workout I passed out on the couch and slept for a half an hour. That only motivated me more, because I knew I had let myself go to far.
I started really researching how to eat healthy, and soon put myself on a low carb, low-fat, low sugar diet. I was loosing weight pretty steadily at first. And over the course of 3 months I lost 19 pounds. The more weight I lost, the more obsessed I became about loosing more. I just wanted to be skinny again! But I began to stall in my weight loss, and I was generally miserable and deprived. I hated working out and not eating any good food. That is when God led me to a diet plan that was going to help me immensely.
I started a popular diet called Trim Healthy Mama. It had me cutting out sugar completely, but subbing it with natural sweeteners such as stevia. It had me eating carbs and fats again, but not at the same time. So I was enjoying butter and cheese and dessert again! Over the next 5 months I lost another 32 pounds. I was looking fabulous and feeling amazing! I really felt that God showed me what He saw in me. A beautiful woman, a creation of God, inside and out. I was healthier and happier and I was so thankful to God that He walked me through this weight loss journey!
I can easily say that it was only walking with Jesus through this process that I was able to come to the place I am now. Every person has their own journey in life, their own trials and tribulations. While God rescued me from some of my addictions, I had to partner with Him to work on many other problems. It was not Trim Healthy Mama that gave me success in this weight loss. That was merely a tool that God directed me too. If I had not walked with Jesus through this I can’t say I would have had the weight loss experience I did.
Jesus has been so faithful to me. I have had many points of weakness where I wanted to fall to the temptation to go off my diet and eat junk. But He is my strength and my song, and I am so thankful for that. It was my love for Him that motivated me to loose the weight in the first place, and it was His love for me that empowered me to change!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:19